iPhone

I recently got an iPhone, so I'm pretty brain dead at the moment. I spend most of my time setting stuff up and checking stuff.

Occasionally, I do stuff.

Not real life stuff. iPhone stuff. Because no way did I shower today. But I have started taking a lot of pictures. Like the neighbor's Slip and Slide.

Or the girls at the Children's Museum.
Or the girls at the Coffeehouse.

And I even have a little story.

Steve has this really annoying joke. If I say I like a song, he says, "I wrote it." If I say I like a shirt, he says, "I made it." If I say I like asparagus, he says, "I invented asparagus."

So you get it, right. Annoying.

The other day, the Sting song "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" came on Pandora. Steve mentions that it's sort of our song, to which Penny perfectly states: "Good thing I wrote that."

Well played Penny. Well played.

And one more thing. High speed rail is being built in Normal. Yay...

Self portrait

Fun at 5

Last night, after I called the girls in for dinner, Penny asked if she could go back out to play after she was done. I told her probably no. I thought it was going to storm.

"Oh yeah. I knew it was going to storm," she said.

Yeah? How's that?

"I read about it in the newspaper."

Penny and her buds at the park today.

Mother's Day

For Mother's Day, the girls woke me up at 6 a.m. Carolyn made me a breakfast of Cheerio's, yogurt, milk and a cookie. She watched to make sure I ate every bite.

The cards were nice. The flowers were nice. Chocolates? Yes. Very nice. But my favorite part of Mother's Day was spending some time with the girls, doing what we love to do.

For Carolyn, this was a 3 mile bike ride while I ran behind her. It was a lovely day as we ran/biked along the trail. We ended up at the playground where Steve had packed a picnic lunch.

Later, Penny and I went shopping. We bought some gifts. I bought some shirts. She got a shirt. I took a picture with her and a mannequin she thought was especially beautiful.

The day was not all sunshine. Residual exhaustion, coupled with a few too-strong margaritas, left me feeling a bit defeated. But we are left with these images to remember this Mother's Day. And even a song from Penny's Sunday school class. See how cute...

Ahhh... Metcalf

The Metcalf transition is one of the best things that's happened to our family in a while. And this is a family that has had a streak of good luck lasting well over two years. Here's why

Reason 1: Bullies. Carolyn has fallen victim to some very mean little girls. It's probably been going on most of the year, but Carolyn has hidden it from us. I happened to catch a piece of it the other day and was ready to call the superintendent from the complete lack of teacher supervision at that $^&*#$%% school. Apparently, the name Carolyn has become synonymous with cootie, and that is not acceptable.

After really talking about it this weekend, Carolyn convinced us that she will take care of it herself, because, in her words, "It's almost over and I'm going to Metcalf next year." Poor kid. And I think it's working. We worked on some anti-bully strategies and I think it might be helping.

I'm not so naive to think that bullies don't exist at fancy shmancy schools, I just hope the staff cares enough to try and stop it.

Reason 2: Pets in the classroom. Fairview does not allow such frivolous luxuries as hamsters, turtles or fish. Presumably, the administration is more concerned with ignoring bullies. Carolyn is pet crazy, so yeah for pets!

Reason 3: The playground. Fairview students are made to stand in straight lines while waiting for school to begin. For a first grader, 20 minutes standing in a straight line can be a long time. Do you know what they do to pass the time? You got it. They bully. Metcalf allows the students to play on the playground, or in the gym, until it's time to walk to class.

Reason 4: Drama. Carolyn will have drama class once a week.

Reason 5: Parents. The parents at Metcalf seem super friendly. I have been pretty absent this year because of school, the new job and working nights. But now that I'm getting more involved, and I'll have TWO kids at Metcalf, I feel like I'm being welcomed openly. The other day at Fairview (That's Fairview Elementary School in Normal IL), I tried to make small talk with this other mom who I know works at the same hospital I work. I say, "So, what department do you work in again?" She says, "OR," and walks away from me.

I'll stop writing now, as this is getting boring (They grow vegetables that they use in the school salad bar. The teachers blog weekly about what's happening in the classroom. They have a pool! OK, NOW I'll stop...) but I am so happy for this little life in Normal. Here's a picture of Penny with a classmate after their recent preschool performance. At Metcalf. Ahhhh.

Quick news

This will be fast for several reason, which I will outline here in great detail. Ha! I kid. I kid. I am on my way to a 12-hour overnight work shift in about five minutes, so I'll just come out and say it.

Carolyn got into Metcalf, which is a public laboratory school run by Illinois State U. that is... the bomb! This means Carolyn and Penny will both be attending the SAME school next year. All day. I can't believe how big they've gotten. I can't believe how big we've all gotten, mostly figuratively and only a little bit literally.

We will tour next week, so I'll point out all the awesomeness of this event soon. Now, off to work where, hopefully, my sick patients will only march in the direction of wellness.

The Otter and the Octopus

Let me just say, this has not been my finest week. I'm stressed out, pissed off and generally in a pretty foul mood. And Penny, a quite extraordinary child, sensed this about me and either a) discovered empathy or b) used this moment of weakness to her advantage.

At the library last week, she created the puppet show, "The Otter and the Octopus."

Turns out, Mrs. Octopus works nights. Poor Mrs. Octopus was sleepy and no fun during the day, and of course she was gone at night. Her three octopus babies were left to fend for themselves as their tired, neglectful mother ran off to earn a living in some frivolous night-shift type career such as, um... nursing? Or maybe prostitution?

So the tired mother runs off and leaves her babies alone. Later, the otter comes around and sees the babies. The otter decides it might be a good idea to take one. After all, they are motherless and alone.

Later, the tired Mrs. Octopus mom returns to find a baby missing. While this is very sad, the mother is tired and in need of some sleep. So she cuts her losses and drifts into an unsatisfactory morning nap.

I finally have to stop Penny after mom heads to work again and a bat is perched on the nursery door.

Penny, who will grow up to an actress, an artist, a doctor or a con artist, is so fun and interesting to be around, when she's not making me feel bad. Here's a fun Sunday picture. The girls LOVE Sunday mass, mostly because it affords them an opportunity to dress up. With accessories! Oh yeah, they love Jesus and all, but it's mostly about the clothes. And the shoes.

Math whiz

Please excuse this short, picture-free blog entry, but I needed to show a bit of Carolyn pride and the obvious outlet (the F-place) is off limits for Lent.

Carolyn just passed her first timed math test. What is so cool about it is there are two boys in the class that passed on the first or second try. Carolyn, who did not pass on the first of second try, spent all week working on her addition and doing practice drills until she was the next person to pass. I love that her trying hard paid off. I was way more proud than if she had just passed without thinking about it.

Also, just because I'm sleep deprived from a single night shift, I want to let everybody know that you shouldn't write checks at 2 a.m. that your ass can't cash. Sure, I e-mailed Steve, I'll be home in plenty of time to help you get the girls off to school. No problem. It's sort of funny the things you think you're capable of doing at 2 a.m. This night thing is sure going to be interesting.

2:22 a.m.

I begin my new life as a night nurse tomorrow. In preparation, I got up at 1 a.m. so that I would be tired enough to sleep during the day. And, surprise, surprise, the middle of the night is super boring.

How about a blog update?

Carolyn. Well, she's learning all sorts of big kid stuff. Her and Steve spent the entire 30 miles to Peoria deciphering road signs and mile markers. She's working on timed math tests and doing book reports. She argues with everything I say without fail. For instance, tonight I told her she can stay up late reading because she has late start tomorrow at school so she can sleep in a bit. Her light was off almost instantly.

We ended up dropping out of girl scouts. It was a pretty sad decision. Carolyn loves it but the group was poorly organized and really hasn't done anything other than gather the girls to run around the gym in the last seven months. It probably wasn't the best decision to stop going, but I just couldn't waste our time with it anymore. I'm a worrier with Carolyn. I think every decision I make will impact the future course of her life. With Penny, I just sort of go with the flow. Oh, it's a real curse to be the first child.

Oh, and here's Carolyn with her new bike helmet. If only it would get warm enough to ride.

Penny, on the other hand, is having a lovely time being Penny. She likes coloring and drawing for hours. She's enjoys an active social life with her classmates and at the babysitters. And who the hell knows how she's doing in dance class. I'm too busy with Carolyn, practicing timed addition test drills. Oh, the tragedy of the poor, ignored second child.

Still, she's having fun doing all the things we like to do. Hanging out at the park, for instance.

A day away

Steve and I don't get out much. We haven't been away from the kids (together) in about six years. Well. I guess we did go away for my dad's memorial service a couple of years ago, but I don't like to count that.

We went to Chicago for the night and it was AWESOME! We ate great food, did lots of shopping and stayed in a super nice hotel. I rode in a BMW for the first time. We saw a play and ate at an empty Thai restaurant at 11 p.m. and saw about 30 minutes of the band Yes in concert. It's so nice that the kids are little older now, because I totally didn't worry about them like I would have a few years ago.

Steve was having an especially good weekend, what with all the gay men checking him out. Some dude at Banana Republic asked Steve, "So, you shop here often?" And this other guy at the Ralph Lauren bar, who was quite intoxicated, just couldn't keep his hands off Steve.

But he was nice enough to take the awesome picture of us and to buy me some Italian sparkling wine. See how happy sparkly stuff makes me! Oh, and Steve. Steve makes me happy too!

Nurse Chris

I wish I had been posting more lately. It's just so darn busy all the time. I ran into a mom I knew and she was asking if it was becoming less overwhelming.

Overwhelming? Did I say that?

Absolutely I (probably) did. And it still is at times. There are days when I wonder how one person can humanly do the amount of work that is required. But as I progress forward, the days become easier. Some days are monsters. Some days are great.

But there is one thing for sure - I love my job. I absolutely love the patients, even the not-so-great ones. I love assessing and making sure everything is going as it should be. I love talking to them.

The doctors and the charting and the communication is still a challenge, but it's coming together.

So, I should try to blog more. Write more. Chart more. Because it's looking back on the record that helps me to remember how far I've come.

Oh... and the girls are great. Just in case you were wondering.

Harmony

Apparently, today kicks off tornado awareness week. Or month. Or season. Something like that. Steve told me about it and I was too lazy to look it up.

But today, our family had a "moment" without even realizing it.

It started when Penny told us she had a "grill," at school today. You know, a tornado grill...

Ah yes. Carolyn had one too. In her grill/drill, she had to sit silently in the hallway and put a book over her head. This clears up the statement she made earlier today about her head being the most important part of her body. Doctors can fix a broken leg, she said, but they have a really hard time fixing heads.

I agreed, that is difficult.

In Penny's grill/drill, she had to stand in the hallway facing her cubby. I guess they weren't as concerned with heads there.

I even had a drill at the hospital. A lady came over the loudspeaker and said, "This is a tornado watch drill. This is a tornado watch drill." And then everybody continued about their day.

Because today is the first Tuesday of the month, Steve heard the the monthly siren on his way to work and also heard a broadcast alert on the radio. This was not as organized as the rest of the family's grill/drill stories, but it was still nice he got to be included.

So, over dinner, we learned that we all sort of had a similar experience today. And after a long day away, it was nice to talk about what happened. Even if it was only a grill.

Ughhhhhh...

It didn't start as an experiment. Honest to goodness, we just forgot to get Carolyn a flu shot. Well, maybe not so much "forgot," as "meant to get around to it but then put it off until flu season hit and then sorta figured it was too late."
So, Carolyn never got a flu shot. And then she went ahead and got the flu.
But, the other three people who live in this house did have a flu shot. So, deep down, we know it's kind of important. And yet....
Guess what...
Penny has the flu too.
They are so sick. Poor Carolyn has run a fever for five days. When the doctor came into the room, she was immediately concerned with Carolyn's appearance. Now we're getting worried about dehydration and pneumonia. And this is with our hardy child.
Penny is a few days behind her, sickness-wise. I'm not certain the flu shot will shorten the duration or potency of this bug, but I really, really, really hope so.
And the unintended medical experiment continues.
This has been coupled by a very tough week at a new job and money troubles at the paper (I HATE the word "furlough"). So I'm really glad I have the next three days to hydrate the children and try to get back into normal with kids who want to do something other than lay on the couch.
Who would have thought I'd have to threaten the girls to eat popsicles?!

Carolyn is 7!

I can't believe it. How did so much time go by so quickly. But here she is for her annual birthday pictures.

Poor girl is spending the first days as a 7-year-old at home sick. Again. Poor kid has been sick so much this winter. Actually, since January, post-Disney. I hope spring comes soon to take away this winter ickiness.

Now, to entertain two sick girls for the next four hours.

Christine Gardner, RN-BSN

When Penny turned 5, she kept saying, "I still feel 4." I love that. And now, I totally get it.

I finished nursing school. I passed boards. I got licensed and sat through a week of orientation and everybody keeps calling me an RN... only I still feel like a student. It's like,it just dawned on me that I'm starting a brand new career. At 37. How did that happen?

But the first week was sort of blah. I sat through hours and hours and hours of orientation about a lot of stuff I just spent a year learning. But this time, I like to remind myself, I was getting paid for staring blankly at the paper in front of me. That is so much better than paying. Also, they won't let us do our tests at home because we have to get paid to take them. How sweet is that?!?!

This week I actually get to spend some time on the floor. I'm pretty nervous, although Steve reminds me there is NO way their going to let me even touch a patient, much less be left on my own. Also this week, Carolyn turns 7. I can't believe that either. Because she might be turning 7, but she still feels like my baby girl to me.

Hell yeah snow day

Here's the last of our three-day, snow-day adventures. It's truly how a snow day is meant to be to be spent.

Snow

There is no denying it. Things have been going my way.

I have a laundry list of things that have gone well for me in the last few years. I sometimes like to analyze how my life made such a 360. I will say it made major strides after I married Steve, but the last three years have been especially lovely. I have all sorts of crazy theories why this is and I like to speculate after a glass or three of wine.

After about 5 minutes of such a conversation, Steve tells me to shut up and just take credit for it.

I'll admit, many of the awesome things in my life were my doing. I started running. I returned to the Catholic Church (Steve hates this theory in particular and asks that I don't give the Catholic church credit for my happiness). I set in motion a plan to return to nursing school and that worked out just fine.

I believe these things built upon the thing before it. But certain things, like Penny being accepted to the awesome ISU laboratory school based on the dumb luck enrollment system, are beyond the theory that I control the happiness in my life. So when I asked God or whoever would listen to grant me a snow day during my last week of freedom before I become gainfully employed, I was not expecting to be heard.

I certainly wasn't expecting this...

Crazy blizzard that has taken Carolyn and Penny out of school for three days. Totally snowed in, which is not easy to do in the Midwest. Some people say it's a "Be careful what you wish for" kind of situation, but I think the wish was very nicely granted.

For instance, it gave us an opportunity to build a bear den that doubles as a penguin pool.

Darnit if these penguins aren't a particularly cute variety.
Best snow day(s) ever! Thanks dumb luck.

Full circle

I feel like I've come a long way in the last couple of years. I started running and finished my first half marathon. I reconnected with the Catholic church and have made it a part of my family's life. I put in motion a plan to attend a one-year accelerated nursing program, completed said program and went ahead and got the job I wanted.

I even added five letters behind my name because Christine Gardner RN-BSN sounds so much better than plain-old Chris.

All these accomplishments have come with a certain level of self confidence, a trait I do not naturally possess. So I find it sort of funny that I continue to be a socially awkward, baffoonish-type mom with a stutter when I am surround by other moms. I think I'm a fairly adequate mother, just not a very good in the mom circles.

Take last week. I was having a particularly low moment of self confidence when I got an e-mail about an after-school playdate with Penny's classmates. These moms, in particular, are the sort of go-getter Stay At Home sorts that organize stuff. They organize lots and lots of stuff and they seem to all get along. I'm sort of on the outside, in large part, because I haven't been around a lot of the year. But also, I haven't made an effort because they frighten and intimidate me.

So on this particularly bad day, I decided to forward the message to Steve and ask him if I should go to this outing (even though I had other plans) because I'm a shitty mom and I need to try harder and blah, blah, blah.

Only I didn't forward. I replied.

That is a horrible feeling. Realizing a minute too late that you have sent an un-retrievable message. So I speedy quick send a very light apology.

But I never heard back, which made me feel extra bad.

So today, I tried to make amends. The woman I was certain had sent the e-mail said, No... It wasn't her. Maybe it was one of two other women. One of them said no. The other said no as I blabbered on and on about how it was a mistake and then said the word bitchy in front of like 10 children.

Then I slowly backed away and left. It probably didn't help that it's five months after the start of school I still don't know anybody's name.

I told Steve that maybe these people were just not meant to be my friends. Maybe fate was not allowing this to happen. Maybe I would try extra hard next year.

Then he reminded me that after my stellar performance in the last week, perhaps it wasn't my decision anymore.

Road to NCLEX

Jan. 2010: First week of nursing school. I can do this. I'm just as smart as these others students. I can do this! What??? Test??? What test???

March 2010, and again in June, August, September, etc.: Oh good. Practice tests. And you say I'm not being graded? And tests, and tests, and tests.

September 2010: Finally, the last session of school begins. This NCLEX guru teaches my critical care clinical. I spend lots of time learning the side effects of various antibiotics and contemplating the disease processes of the heart and kidneys. She is very smart but she scares the shit out of me. She lays in wait, pouncing on unsuspecting students, launching impossible questions she knows we can't answer. Also, she just starts singing randomly and I find this to be disconcerting.

November 2010: I decided at this point I will not take the NCLEX review class (aka... Kaplan) if I pass the pre-test (yes, another test) that determines if I will pass NCLEX with 97 percent certainty. Kaplan is $400 and begins the day after finals a week before Christmas. I feel guilty, but no thank you.
I am alone in this philosophy and the smartest kids in class sign up for Kaplan weeks ahead of the pre-test. I sometimes wonder what's wrong with me.

December 2010: I easily passed pre-test and was one of five students who decided not to take Kaplan. I bought a test bank of questions to practice and hoped I had not made a huge mistake. I hope this every day for the next month. I tell the NCLEX guru that I'm not taking Kaplan, which she teaches, and she sort of shrugs and implies, "Well. If you think you can pass on your own..." Then she starts to sing.

Dec. 17, 2010: Graduation. Many students remark that Kaplan is awesome and they are so glad they took it. That's fantastic, I tell them.

Late December: I bought a NCLEX app for the iPod. I borrowed a Kaplan book from the library. I painted my living room. My new boss calls and says, "What do you mean you didn't take Kaplan!!!!"

January 2011: I return from the best vacation of my life and start studying, for real this time, for NCLEX ... sorta. I was still waiting for "permission to test" letter. Then I received it and made my test date for one week later. One week and 250 miles later.
So the real studying had finally begun. I had a plan. I was focused and I was ready.

Monday: Carolyn was sick so she stayed home. My last minute plans of catching up on my weak spots fell apart and I even lost electricity and needed an electrician. Everything that could go wrong was going wrong.

And in my twisted, tired mind, I believed these were omens instructing me not to take the test. Failure was imminent.

Tuesday: After losing internet access, I told Steve to cancel my testing appointment. I regain computer access 10 minutes later and re-enrolled for the same test. I did this all without even the slightest break in sobbing. The girls were very unsure of how to deal with this turn of events and eventually became sick of it, asking ,"Why are you crying? Are you going to stop soon?"

Wednesday (testing day): My eyes were swollen for two days after my massive breakdown. Thankfully, I spent all day Wednesday either driving or testing, so I didn't really see many people. The nursing student working at Panera looked like she felt sorry for me, but I was too nervous for chit chat. I was so nervous that I was shocked when I started testing and actually knew some of the answers. Then...

PASS.

I took the minimum number of questions (75) and finished in two hours. Easy like sleazy. So after all the uncertainty, all the doubts and all the tears, I completed the biggest test of my life with very few problems. Well, except for four weeks of paranoid terror. But other than that, it very uneventful.

Thursday: The day after the test, I came down with a horrible cold that seemed to burst out like it had been holding back for weeks. So I laid on the couch and watched old movies with abandon and then I took a 2 hour nap... because I could.
So now on to the next chapter. A chapter free of tests, but full of the possibility I could kill somebody. Ahhh... No more tests.....

Once a writer

I always had this crazy habit as a writer in that I like to write out loud. I like to talk my thoughts out as I write them down and it's always helped me in organizing sentences and creating tone.

The problem is, I've started doing this in test taking. In prepping for my NCLEX test, which is in the near future (although I'm superstitiously not revealing the exact day), I have started working through problems verbally. I'm fairly certain this will be frowned upon on testing day.

To correct it, I'm thinking about just mouthing my thoughts during my upcoming practice exam. Sure, I might look insane. But it won't be the first (or presumably the last) time.

On a completely different topic, I've decided to cure Carolyn of her forgetfulness. To this, Steve hung his head and said, "Oh no..." He believes this to be a fruitless endeavor, but I think I can do it. More on this failed endeavor in the future.

DISNEY!!!

I'm not certain if it's because I just finished one of the most challenging years of my life. Or maybe the stars are aligned. Or maybe it's because 37 is the best year of a person's life.

But my trip to Disney World was... and I realize how clique this sounds... truly magical.

To begin, Steve planned everything. Every detail. And in doing so, he landed us, not one, but two rooms at the Waldorf Astoria, the only existing model of the famous NYC hotel. And not just two rooms. But one room and one suite. So two bedrooms, a living room and a kitchen. With a balcony view of the fireworks at night. It was luxurious beyond my expectations. And they had the best breakfast I've ever eaten.


And then there were the children. If I ever write an Orlando guidebook, I will forever insist that 5 and 6 are the perfect age to take children to Disney. There is... here I go again... a certain magic they see that does not exist in everyday life that is readily available at Disney. And I'm not naive. I understand it's manufactured, which is sort of why I've always been (sort of) anti-Disney. But even I got weepy at the fireworks display.


And then there was the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be in a Disney parade. The only parade that invites guest. And they only ask about 7 or 8 families a day. By far, the girls' least favorite part. But having hundreds and hundred of people wave at you is a real experience. I could probably write a whole separate blog about how we were targeted for our multi-ethnic appearance, but I'll refrain.

And then, and this is the main "and then," there was my family. It just so worked out that Carolyn likes roller coasters. And who knew? Me too! We rode Space Mountain three times. Mt. Everest Expedition twice. Thunder Mountain. And this left lots of time for Penny and Steve to catch parades, get stalked by Disney photographers and meet lots of characters.

We rode every ride we wanted. Packed lunches so we didn't have to eat crappy, overpriced Disney food. Caught the bus at just the right time on all but one occasion. Met all the characters. Did I mention the girls love Disney characters?





It was the trip where everything went right. Even the flight through Atlanta, mere hours before an ice storm stranded the flight behind us. So thanks Disney. We'll probably never do it again, but it was one magical experience. I'll stop now.

We must protect this house!

Well, I vowed to blog more, so here it is. I started the day with a 4-mile jog in 20 degrees. Brrr... But I have to say, running in that weather sort of makes me feel like a real bad ass. And that is a fine attitude for this time of year when I'm studying for NCLEX. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....

Yesterday, in true "Me" style, I was asleep before midnight. But I did take the kids to the Children's Museum for a New Year's countdown at noon. I thought, "this should be fun." So did 1,057 other people. It was a wee bit crowded and annoying.

I kept losing the girls because they're not used to it being so busy and they just kind of wandered off. And I had this constant feeling I was being exposed to sickness. I could only take 90 minutes before I was like, "HOME!!! NOW!!!" Maybe it's good training for Disney, which we leave for in five days. Woohoo.

Well, I'm off to sit in front of the television. God bless New Year's Day. It's even more awesome when you're not hung over.

A new year

2010 was a good year. But it's ending and I'm ready for 2011. I don't have much in mind this year for resolutions, but here are a few:

1. Pass NCLEX!!!! A must-do.
2. Join a gym and train for at least 1 half marathon. Maybe two. Yes, let's say two.
3. Lose at least 10 pounds. I need to lose 20, but I'll take 10. Also, drink one glass of milk every day.
4. Try to read the entire A section of the paper every day.
5. Blog more, Facebook less.
6. Be more patient with Carolyn.
7. Go to the dentist once this year and floss daily.
8. Get more involved in either church or the schools. Volunteer more.
9. Join a CSA this summer.
10. Try and be a more loving wife. After this last year, Lord knows, Steve deserves it.

I think that's it. Not as comprehensive as two years ago, but definitely better than last year when my only two goals were to pass school and not go crazy. I guess one out of two ain't bad!

I changed my mind

I don't want to be a nurse. I want to be home with my kids. I want it to be winter. I want to cook for them and play games with them.

Oh yeah, and I want them to never grow any older.

That's how good this break has been. We sleep in. We watch movies. We hang out with friends. It's like every day is better than the last. This has been quite the year.

I haven't blogged lately, so let me catch up. I graduated from nursing school. My family was here to see it, including my in-laws and my awesome nephew Jeremiah. I made a little speech at graduation, and some people even laughed, so that was nice. Christmas was amazing, with Santa bring Disney tickets. And Steve was awarded Employee of the Year! What??? I'm not sure how he even made it to work.

Without a doubt, this is the happiest I've ever been in my whole miserable life. So freezing time sort of feels like the thing to do.

But if freezing time doesn't work, why not try sledding, because that's pretty awesome too.



I think I'll post some resolutions tomorrow. I like to post them on the off chance someone reads them and is like, "So... did you lose that 30 pounds you said you were going to lose?!?" It keeps me honest.

The Final Countdown

In less than 48 hours, I will be finished with school. Just two more finals and I ... am... done.

I really have nothing else to say right now. That pretty much sums it up.

"I don't feel 5."

That's my Penny. She still feels the youthful exuberance of 4. The quiet wisdom of an added year has not yet hit my sweet daughter.

We had a lovely time on her birthday this year. McDonalds. A new Nintendo DS. A cake made with a pound and a half of butter. All good things. And not to make this all about me or anything, but this was the last day of my 10-day vacation and it was awesome!

So here are some birthday pics of Penny. In case you wander across this lonely island of a blog, I take pics of my girls every year on their birthdays wearing dresses I once wore, to watch them grow into them. And here is my new 5-year-old daughter, who still feels like she's merely 4.

Employment

Getting a nursing job is the easiest job I've ever gotten. I don't graduate for another !!!!3 weeks!!! and I won't start until February, but it's decided. And during a time when nursing jobs are not as plentiful as you might think. But I guess they're plentiful enough.

I'll be working on a surgical ward that is pretty much the hospital's equivalent of a newspaper's general assignment reporter. This is good because I think being a general assignment reporter is a great way to learn how to become a reporter. Sure, you can specialize in cops or sports or features right away, but if you don't do GA, you never learn what you really love. Or... what you're really good at.

But that's where the similarities between nursing and journalism job hunts ends. Nursing jobs are much more plentiful than the journalism job market of 10 years ago, and for that I am thankful.

So now I've moved on to another phase. It's the phase absent of motivation and drive. And I have a week off so this phase is also highlighted with excessive amounts of wine. Today, I picked up Penny and pretty much hung around the house all day. Then I called Steve and told him I think we should go out to eat. We let Carolyn decide, since she had a rockin' report card Friday, and she immediately yelled out "Chinese buffet."

It's too bad I have a paper to write this week, because I feel sorry for my classmates but I just don't see it being all that great. Sorry classmates, but I have a job and now I am obligated to progress to the next level where I rest on my laurels for at least a day or two.

Or three. Or four...

The job hunt

Well, it's really more of a browsing. In a very small store. With only two items. But still, it's job time.

And that's because school time is almost over. After tomorrow, I'll have just three weeks of classes left. THREE WEEKS!!!!! And in three weeks, I will have earned 62 credits. That's crazy, but oh so real.

This week I had two job interviews at my hospital of choice. When there's only two items in the store, one usually sort of stands out. The first interview was on a surgical unit. They see ortho cases, hysterectomies, gall bladder removals, and stuff like that. It has a really great manager and is the sort of place where you learn lots of stuff. It is where I originally planned on working.

Then I interviewed on the CVCU, or cardiovascular care unit. It's exactly like it sounds. Hearts. Hearts. Hearts. It also has a great manager but was not where I expected to work right out of school. It's very specialized.

So I've decided.... Well, nothing for sure yet. Both seem very interested and I'm leaning toward CVCU for a couple of reasons. The first is I loved the manager and her description of the floor. It seemed fast paced and interesting. The second is the hours, which are just slightly better than surgical.

But mainly, it's because it poses a huge challenge for me and I hate to see a challenge not met. The heart is such a specific organ, but we know so much about it and have all these ways to fix it. And yet, it's still our biggest health issue. And this will give me the sort of critical care experience I wanted three years from now, but today.

So in an attempt to not talk myself out of it, I've been obsessively calling the director for about a day now. I left a message this morning, but on my way out the door just now, I decided to try one more time. And, of course, she was there. And, of course, she said she'd call me right back. So I'm basically blogging to fill the time.

And still no call. C'mon lady. I'd hate to see this as a sign.

Big kids

My kids are getting so old. They are totally like little people now. Carolyn says things all the time that she picks up at school that are hilarious. And Penny... Well, Penny is just her own kind of girl. Very theatrical.

Yesterday, we took them to the ISU football game. It was family weekend. Usually, that means college kids bringing their parents to campus. But for me, it meant bringing my kids to campus. We rode our bikes downtown for lunch and then to the game. It was super fun.

Penny said she wants to be a football player so (and this is totally a quote), "So I can kill all the white guys." I should probably mention the other team had white uniforms, just so you don't think we're horrible people.

And the people behind us were grandparents who were missing their grandkids (who live a couple of hours away) very much. So they decided to dote on ours, which was super nice. They gave them extra popcorn and red licorice.

It was a fun, sunny, fall day. Totally fun.

Six weeks

I don't blog anymore because... well... I'm not so sure. I have senioritis big time, but this session is actually quite a bit easier than the last nine months. And just five more weeks of classes. I feel sort of weird about everything. I should be excited, but I'm not. I should continue trying to learn, but I'm lacking any semblance of motivation. I should study for my test, but instead, I'll drink wine and watch football. I've run exactly one time this week.

And that pretty much sums it up right now.

But here are some Halloween pics to show you I'm not completely ignoring the children. Some of them are from tonight, including with the neighbor kids who we hung out with tonight (super fun!). But some are from last weekend when I took them to the haunted trail. See what a great parent I am : )

Fall fun

This poor blog. No longer am I cleverly finding new and improved methods of self deprecation. Now, I'm merely complaining, freaking out, yelling at my kids, complaining and then patting myself on the back for doing such a bang up job in nursing school.

To remedy the poor quality (and quantity) of this blog as of late, here are some pictures from the last few weekends. Because, though you might not know it, we still have children and interact with them, somewhat.

For instance, yesterday we took the girls to a fun run at IWU. After, we enjoyed some bouncy houses and face painting.




We went to the Children's Museum a couple of times. Incidentally, it was voted as the best children's experience in Illinois and featured on the Travel Channel, in case any of our parent friends feel up for a road trip.


We went to a nearby Fall Festival at the ISU gardens. This is also a pretty cool, very free, attraction that is surprisingly nice and fun. Penny's preschool class made that scarecrow, btw.


So you can see, we are having fun. At least on the weekends we are!

School troubles

I have school troubles. Not my school. The girls' schools.

In case I haven't outlined this, let me do so now. Carolyn goes to the local elementary school. It's considered "bad" in this district, which is another way of saying both poor and black children attend. We had a pretty good experience there last year but aren't thrilled. Carolyn seems to be doing very well in her reading and math, so we don't worry about it too much.

Penny, on the other hand, was accepted to the Illinois State U. lab school. This is a public school run by the university, so it has lots of extra perks. Extra teachers. Extra money. Extra involved parents (you need to apply to be accepted, which weeds out a bunch of lazy bones right off the bat).

So Penny, my extra talkative preschooler, is attending this school with like nine teachers, access to an iPad and a pool. Not only is she the most popular kid in school, she shares her day with us pretty much minute by minute. In addition, she has very open teachers who blog once a week, send tons of information home, take pictures of the kids and make books for the parents to look through and generally have an open door policy. Penny is doing great and we are very happy there.

On the other hand is Carolyn. I have NO IDEA what school is like for her. She shares nothing. She doesn't talk about her friends. She can't remember what she had for lunch. Nothing. Her teacher shares very, very little. She doesn't blog or send home updates. I get a spelling list at the beginning of the week and that's pretty much it. Carolyn and I struggled all week to talk about her science lesson, which we finally figured out tonight.

So I did something very unlike me and I e-mailed her teacher. I just told her my concern that Carolyn was having problems, maybe socially, adjusting to school this year. She's really doing great at the reading and writing, so I figured it must be social.

And that's pretty much where I stand. Because I haven't heard back from her. And I still have no idea what's going on with Carolyn. Penny, (again) on the other hand, is doing great, according to the parent-teacher conference I had with her teacher today. Of course.

So, our family is indeed undertaking a very interesting experiment of what happens when one kid goes to a shitty school and the other one goes to an awesome school. Not exactly what I had in mind initially.

Better now

Sometimes the thought of school is much worse than school itself. I guess that sort of goes for life. The new job. The new friend. The new hobby. Sometimes these things can be scary.

Or maybe it's just me. It's probably me.

Anyway, this session of school is amazing. It's the best content of the year with lots of very in-depth information about critical care. It has the best clinicals, with experience in critical care and actually working on the floor I where I want to work (I even applied!). It has far less busy work than the last two session and only two classes, so many fewer exams.

And I have the most amazing teachers this session. OK. I'll stop now.

But it's very exciting to start working on this session, start preparing for boards and start thinking about a job as an RN. I'M GOING TO BE AN RN IN 11 WEEKS!!!

So there's lots to be happy about, if I had time for happy. In between the girls' two schools, their activities like ballet and CCD, parent-teacher conferences, doctor appointments, exercise (hahaha), school picnics, cooking dinner, talking to my husband, blah blah blah, there's very little time for silly things like feeling stuff. So don't go expecting Christmas cards this year.

But I've very happy to be back in school for this last session.

Session 3: OVER....

When I think back on this year, I'll remember session 2 as the hardest session in nursing school, but session 3 was definitely the biggest pain in the ass. It just seemed impossible to catch up, the clinicals were far away and at weird hours and we had these massive four-hour lectures.

But it's over... And I had five days off in a row that felt like about 15 minutes. And then... back to school.

Ugh. I just don't feel like going back to school. I feel like going to bed. I'm just not sure I can learn much more. My tiny brain just can't take it. And with the kids back in school, we are so busy all the time with activities and school schedules. But, I'm sure I'll get through the next 12 weeks somehow.

Now, that's a depressing blog. But that's really all I have for now.

School on ADD

As I was basking in the awesomeness of the weekend, whistling away, the guy who sits next to me in class starts laughing.

Turns out, he likes me when I'm in a good mood

And not so much when I'm not.

I had completely forgotten about last week, when I was a malcontent who oozed grumpiness and dissatisfaction with life. It was a very, very bad week and I was not afraid to spread my negativity to those around me.

So it's sort of nice that I have the attention of a fruit fly. It's much nicer to think that I'm always this happy, even when the guy sitting next to me knows the truth.

I didn't even have to use my AK

It for sure was a good day. Good weekend actually. Good two weekends.

For one: It was my birthday weekend. Love it. I love having Labor Day weekend and my birthday fall at the same time. Since I don't really feel the need to honor labor unions, it sort of frees up the weekend for more fun stuff. Like beer.
Oh and fun afternoon stuff like bike rides to the farmer's market and lunch on campus. And a new bike basket that totally rocks.


Two: Quick trip to Chicago. It was lots of fun heading to Chicago, mostly so I could go to Ikea. I'm not sure why I love that store so much. Sort of makes me feel like I'm in another country. I swear, I saw a guy in sub-saharan African attire loading boxes into his Sedan. It is a very diverse crowd. Oh... And I also love Cheesecake Factory. And hotels. And big, pink flowers from H&M.


Three: School. It's actually sort of winding down right now and my heart isn't really in it. I try to stay focused, but it's hard with so much fun to be had. But yeah for me... My class voted me to speak at the graduation thingy at the end of the year. Probably not the biggest deal in the world. After all, there are only 25 of us. But I sort of feel awesome that Carolyn and Penny get to hear me speak at the ceremony. I think it will really help them wrap their heads around the year.

And hopefully, I won't sound like a jackass.