Let me begin by saying that karma is bullshit. Complete BS.
Steve and I spent Saturday being very good people. We saved a nest of bunnies (ahhh... bunnies!!!) from certain death. A grocery store clerk gave us $20 he thought we dropped and we returned it. We made this three-day holiday a car-free Memorial Day weekend.
So we were completely stunned by what Carolyn did at the playground. She walked up to this black man playing with his daughter and said, "You're a different color."
Aghhh. It was totally humiliating, made worse because I'm not sure we handled it correctly. We immediately pulled Carolyn aside and told her it wasn't polite to point out people's differences. Too tall. Too old. A wheelchair. A different color. But it's just something she's noticing right now, along with eye color, hair color and the fact that she has nipples.
This is making for a very awkward line of questioning.
The worst part was I felt like a should have said something to the guy, but couldn't bring myself to look his way. I just know he thinks we're a couple of suburban yahoos who've kept their children separate yet equal. And it's true, her school was completely white. Our neighborhood is largely white. Our city is mostly white.
Should I have told him, "Hey guy. Sorry about that, but I was raised in Detroit." Or perhaps, "I take her on the bus where there's lots of black folks." How about "I contributed to Barack Obama's campaign."
Really, it's an eye opener that we need to have more discussions about these things with Carolyn and Penelope, especially since we live in a not-so-diverse community. It's not Carolyn's fault, but deep down I feel like it's kind of mine.
And just for the record karma, we saved bunnies. Does that count for nothing?
2 comments:
Oooh, yeah. That one's tricky. I wouldn't know what to say. My niece (hailing from the mega-tropolis of Hastings) has made similar comments. My dad, a racist, is visiting right now and I keep reminding him that I would appreciate him watching what he says in front of Payton, even if she's only 4 mos. She might not understand or be able to repeat, but you're never too young to learn hate.
I REMEMBER doing something similar as a child. On a bus with my mother I remember pointing (with my finger) out a black person, and perhaps said something insulting loudly. I remember it because of my mother's response, which was understanding and an explanation of differences, bla bla bla.
Anyway, yeah, you'll have to have talks with the girls on the subject, get books, bla bla bla
Post a Comment