Fw: This is hilarious

This is a real e-mail I received from Steve today.

Also, on the way into school day, Carolyn looked at an older lady coming out and yelled “That woman has really big breasts!” I’m hoping she was too far away to really hear it, but I told Carolyn not to talk about people’s breasts because it’s not nice. But on the other hand, Carolyn was right, they were big.

Of course the racetrack was my favorite part

I can't believe I did a whole blog about going to Minnesota, and failed to mention that we went there to see mom. She's racing horses at Canterbury. We spent a fun day at the track, complete with corn dogs and ice cream.

A few days ago, I sent a friend some of this blog from 2006, it's glory days. Upon reading the entries, at which time Carolyn was the same age as Penny, I realize being 2 is tough for everybody. So whenever I catch myself saying, "I don't remember Carolyn refusing to wear anything but her butterfly shoes and Little Einstein pajamas," I can step back and recall what a terror our little angel was.

Here's a little of what I mean.

June 29, 2006

Just a bit ago, Carolyn took a toy from Penny that I made her give back (it's part of the fun "mine" stage) and Carolyn, out of frustration, tried to gouge out Penny's eyes.

Sept. 19, 2006

Carolyn's her typical funny self. She likes to pretend she's a baby, which I'm sure is a deep-seeded cry for help. She's recently started telling Penelope "Nanananana-No." She sings little high-pitched songs to herself and wanders around the house, much like Ophelia must have done before she drowned herself.

Oct. 23, 2006

And so sometimes Carolyn strikes out in a diva-bitch manner. Give her a break. She still hasn't perfected sentences.

And just think about how tough Penny will be. Carolyn doesn't have enough time on Penelope to get too mean before it comes back to haunt her.

It's like I'm some kind of toddler prophet.

Return to Normal

We just returned this week from our trip to Minnesota. As firsts for the whole family, we visited Minnesota and Iowa. We went right through the flood-ravaged area that caused so many problems for Iowa earlier this year. It was weird to be walk through an older Midwestern town where everything was either brand new or in the process of being renovated.

The trip was great. We, of course, visited Mall of America. We also went to this really awesome farmer's market that reminded me a great deal of Washington D.C.'s Eastern Market.

The girls were great, except for the first night when we heard Carolyn calling for us from the bedroom and found Penny on top of her, trying to gouge out her sister's eyes. Also, Penny got carsick on the ride home and pucked up a half a bag of baby carrots. Steve was able to catch most of it while we sped along the Iowa expressway looking for an exit.

But it was our second pretty long road trip of the summer and I think we're finished for awhile. We have a plane trip scheduled for October, so we'll see if that's any easier (hahahahahahah!!!).

Rainbow girls

There are some activities for the girls that, while I'm not opposed to trying, I am trying really hard to put off as long as possible. It's because once they try it, and love it, it makes it harder to say no. If they didn't know something, say American Girl, was the best thing since pesto pizza, they don't ever ask for it or want it. This is exactly why I wrote to American Girl and asked to be removed from their catalog mailing list.

Just because it's inevitable doesn't mean it can't be postponed.

I felt this way about festival face painting. Whenever you go to one of those festivals, the line of the face painting lady is ridiculous. And at $7 a pop, not exactly cheap. But Carolyn must have heard someone talk about face painting at school or the playground or something, because all of a sudden, she's got her heart set on it.

And if Carolyn has it, dollars to donuts Penny has to have it too.

So our pre-face painting lives are a thing of the past. But even though it's totally a scam and annoying and wasteful, don't the girls look cute!




Carolyn's a butterfly!
Penny's a tiger. A rainbow tiger!

And the worst mother of the year goes to...

...
You guessed it. You're favorite bumbling mom has done it again.

Today, a lifeguard rescued Carolyn from the pool. I was standing two feet from her, and I'm pretty sure she wasn't drowning, but still. The whole event, with the whistles and the 18 teenagers running to our aid and then silently judging me, was pretty traumatizing.

Carolyn's been the recipient of nosefuls of water in the past, but never accompanied by fear or tears. Today, we had a fair share of both.

And while I was super embarrassed, really, the worst part of the whole experience is feeling like I should have kept a closer watch on our little swimmer. There's no way that should happen. Ugh... I'll take embarrassment over that feeling any day.

In the end, we managed to calm down, get back on the horse (back in the deep-end of the pool) and sort of enjoy the rest of the day. In the midst of all this, with poor little mortified Carolyn, I thought, and even vocalized, "I forget how small you still are." I do. Maybe it's the plight of the first child.
But no more excuses. And no more lifeguards. And, please, no more near drownings. Here's a video (post-lifeguard, so you can see we recovered nicely) of the perfectly safe little kid slide we clung to so dearly last year.

Safety Town girl

Yesterday, I took the girls to Safety Town. It's a small course that teaches kids about road signs and stuff, but mostly it's a good place to let the kids ride their bikes without crossing streets and dealing with a-hole drivers, like the one who almost hit me today because, obviously, stop signs do not apply to jerks. Silly me.

Penelope can't quite figure out the pedals, but that is not slowing her down at all. The girl's got some amazing sense of timing, if you ask me.

Thinking of you

I'm definitely in summer lag mode. Why is it impossible to get anything accomplished when it's light outside for like 15 hours a day? It's a mystery I'm willing to live with, only because I kind of love these long and lazy days.

I feel like this summer, I have very little to do and oh-so-much to think about. It's a life in transition, but nothing too exciting is going on right this very second. I did run my first five mile race a few days ago with a time of 50:54, which I'm pretty happy about.

(*note: I actually ran in 50:47, which made me feel good about myself. But then 2 seconds later, I realized I placed 448th. Hmmm. Not so good)

But that's it. Today, Steve took Carolyn to see her first movie at the theater. Penny and I went shopping, which is one of her favorite things to do (we got her some new shoes and Little Mermaid underpants, fingers crossed). Here's my favorite funny story from the girls.

• When Penelope is being especially naughty (like, every 10 minutes for the last two months) and I say something like, "Penny, it's not nice when you hit Fife over the head with that truck," Carolyn always chimes in with this: "But I'm nice mommy. Aren't I nice?"
The other day, Carolyn shoved an entire banana in her mouth. When pieces started falling out onto her leg and she started scooping them up to shove them back into her mouth, I said it's not polite to eat like that. I told her that's how monkeys eat bananas. So Penny said, "But I eat it right mommy. Don't I eat it right?"