What happened to summer?

So what that it's 90 degrees outside (and inside for that matter). So what that school hasn't yet started for Carolyn. So what that we just kind of hang out on these long and lazy days.

Summer officially ends because, today, I'm 35 years old.

Ugh... But what's a aging mom-type to do? I'm thinking Chinese buffet. Maybe a half dozen cocktails. I did spend my morning running, which has brought me into my 36th year healthier than at any other time of my life.

But enough whining from me. There's girl news to be had.

The other day, Carolyn was saying, "Oh. I've gotta crap."
What?????
She's squatting, insisting on this and also saying something like, "Racoto."
Penelope finally filled us in by cheering for her insistent sister. It was "Bravo" and "Clap."
Oh! That's much better.

Penelope is nearly fully potty trained. At least the front half of her is. She even stopped wearing diapers to bed. But when it's time for the big potty time (see Carolyn's misinterpreted line above) then she wants her diaper. Another mom told me that's common, so I'm not too worried about it.

We just had a house full of people for about a week and a half. It was super fun, but left us super exhausted. Here's a picture of the zoo, where we took the girls and their cousins, Jeremiah and Isabella, while their parents took an overnight trip to Chicago. It was fun having four kids (I even braved the grocery store, just to see if I could do it) at least for a few days. If I had four, I'd for sure lose one.

My reputation precedes me

Yesterday, Steve gave the girls a bath. I told him not to wash Carolyn's hair, as she had a shower earlier in the day.

When I came downstairs to bring them pajamas, I went in to see how things were going.

"Daddy got my hair wet," Carolyn said.
He did?
"He wasn't supposed to do that," she said.
No, I said. I guess not.

"Are you going to yell at him?"

Sick and two

My little Penny woke up this morning in quite a state. I got back from running to find her sitting on the couch, acting very morose. I thought she was just worried about not being able to find me, but then she threw up all over the couch, checking my ego and starting a vomiting trend that was not soon to end.

Fun stuff. Carolyn is unaffected and seems to be enjoying a morning of Sesame Street and Popsicles.

On a possibly unrelated note, Penny really showcased her desire to disagree with anything I say yesterday. Penny, I say. You can't stand in the doorway without pants.

"But I don't like pants," she screamed.

"Then get out of the door," I say.

"But I like the door."

Here's Penelope a few days ago, feeling just fine.

Who is Michael Phelps?

Well, obviously he's a gold-medal swimmer, and perhaps one of the best Olympians of all times, but he's definitely not as cute as my little swimmer.

She's holding up her gold medal for you.

Sweet Devil Child of Mine

I've been known to complain once or twice about the terrible twos. But this is who Penny really is:

Today, we split up the girls like we do when it's pretty obvious they are not going to have a great day. There's nobody on the planet who spends more time together than two siblings who aren't yet in school, and sometimes they need a break too.

I took Carolyn to the zoo and a new playground. Lots of fun. Penny went to the grocery store, dollar store and playground with Steve.

At the dollar store, Steve promised Penny a new puzzle, her recently favorite obsession, which of course she mastered in about a day. He also got her a coloring book.

I guess Penny insisted Steve also buy a coloring book and puzzle for Carolyn. And she wanted to get the activity book featuring Ariel, because "Sister likes the Little Mermaid."

How freakin' sweet is that! So here's to Penny — the sweetest 2-year-old on the planet. At least today.

The sounds of silence

I just have to say, if you're ever in need of a gift for the girls and decide a coloring book is the perfect choice, you won't get any argument from anybody in this house.

We (I!!!) love blissfully quiet coloring time.

School days

After all my fretting about preschool (rather my fretting about Carolyn not going to preschool because I waited too long to get her in the school I could A) afford and B) walk to), I simply called the director today and asked if Carolyn could be put in the 5-year-old program.

Sure, the director said. No problem!

I'm so pleased. Carolyn just finished her summer program yesterday, and I have to say, she's really turned a corner in the last few months. The teachers gushed about how social and happy she is. During the class performance (they sang a few songs) Carolyn was right out in front. Her teachers said she loves to sing and is destined for Broadway.

I just think Carolyn will love preschool. And bonus, the class is four days a week right during Penny's nap. No excuse for not being published in the New York Times now...

Fw: This is hilarious

This is a real e-mail I received from Steve today.

Also, on the way into school day, Carolyn looked at an older lady coming out and yelled “That woman has really big breasts!” I’m hoping she was too far away to really hear it, but I told Carolyn not to talk about people’s breasts because it’s not nice. But on the other hand, Carolyn was right, they were big.

Of course the racetrack was my favorite part

I can't believe I did a whole blog about going to Minnesota, and failed to mention that we went there to see mom. She's racing horses at Canterbury. We spent a fun day at the track, complete with corn dogs and ice cream.

A few days ago, I sent a friend some of this blog from 2006, it's glory days. Upon reading the entries, at which time Carolyn was the same age as Penny, I realize being 2 is tough for everybody. So whenever I catch myself saying, "I don't remember Carolyn refusing to wear anything but her butterfly shoes and Little Einstein pajamas," I can step back and recall what a terror our little angel was.

Here's a little of what I mean.

June 29, 2006

Just a bit ago, Carolyn took a toy from Penny that I made her give back (it's part of the fun "mine" stage) and Carolyn, out of frustration, tried to gouge out Penny's eyes.

Sept. 19, 2006

Carolyn's her typical funny self. She likes to pretend she's a baby, which I'm sure is a deep-seeded cry for help. She's recently started telling Penelope "Nanananana-No." She sings little high-pitched songs to herself and wanders around the house, much like Ophelia must have done before she drowned herself.

Oct. 23, 2006

And so sometimes Carolyn strikes out in a diva-bitch manner. Give her a break. She still hasn't perfected sentences.

And just think about how tough Penny will be. Carolyn doesn't have enough time on Penelope to get too mean before it comes back to haunt her.

It's like I'm some kind of toddler prophet.

Return to Normal

We just returned this week from our trip to Minnesota. As firsts for the whole family, we visited Minnesota and Iowa. We went right through the flood-ravaged area that caused so many problems for Iowa earlier this year. It was weird to be walk through an older Midwestern town where everything was either brand new or in the process of being renovated.

The trip was great. We, of course, visited Mall of America. We also went to this really awesome farmer's market that reminded me a great deal of Washington D.C.'s Eastern Market.

The girls were great, except for the first night when we heard Carolyn calling for us from the bedroom and found Penny on top of her, trying to gouge out her sister's eyes. Also, Penny got carsick on the ride home and pucked up a half a bag of baby carrots. Steve was able to catch most of it while we sped along the Iowa expressway looking for an exit.

But it was our second pretty long road trip of the summer and I think we're finished for awhile. We have a plane trip scheduled for October, so we'll see if that's any easier (hahahahahahah!!!).

Rainbow girls

There are some activities for the girls that, while I'm not opposed to trying, I am trying really hard to put off as long as possible. It's because once they try it, and love it, it makes it harder to say no. If they didn't know something, say American Girl, was the best thing since pesto pizza, they don't ever ask for it or want it. This is exactly why I wrote to American Girl and asked to be removed from their catalog mailing list.

Just because it's inevitable doesn't mean it can't be postponed.

I felt this way about festival face painting. Whenever you go to one of those festivals, the line of the face painting lady is ridiculous. And at $7 a pop, not exactly cheap. But Carolyn must have heard someone talk about face painting at school or the playground or something, because all of a sudden, she's got her heart set on it.

And if Carolyn has it, dollars to donuts Penny has to have it too.

So our pre-face painting lives are a thing of the past. But even though it's totally a scam and annoying and wasteful, don't the girls look cute!




Carolyn's a butterfly!
Penny's a tiger. A rainbow tiger!

And the worst mother of the year goes to...

...
You guessed it. You're favorite bumbling mom has done it again.

Today, a lifeguard rescued Carolyn from the pool. I was standing two feet from her, and I'm pretty sure she wasn't drowning, but still. The whole event, with the whistles and the 18 teenagers running to our aid and then silently judging me, was pretty traumatizing.

Carolyn's been the recipient of nosefuls of water in the past, but never accompanied by fear or tears. Today, we had a fair share of both.

And while I was super embarrassed, really, the worst part of the whole experience is feeling like I should have kept a closer watch on our little swimmer. There's no way that should happen. Ugh... I'll take embarrassment over that feeling any day.

In the end, we managed to calm down, get back on the horse (back in the deep-end of the pool) and sort of enjoy the rest of the day. In the midst of all this, with poor little mortified Carolyn, I thought, and even vocalized, "I forget how small you still are." I do. Maybe it's the plight of the first child.
But no more excuses. And no more lifeguards. And, please, no more near drownings. Here's a video (post-lifeguard, so you can see we recovered nicely) of the perfectly safe little kid slide we clung to so dearly last year.

Safety Town girl

Yesterday, I took the girls to Safety Town. It's a small course that teaches kids about road signs and stuff, but mostly it's a good place to let the kids ride their bikes without crossing streets and dealing with a-hole drivers, like the one who almost hit me today because, obviously, stop signs do not apply to jerks. Silly me.

Penelope can't quite figure out the pedals, but that is not slowing her down at all. The girl's got some amazing sense of timing, if you ask me.

Thinking of you

I'm definitely in summer lag mode. Why is it impossible to get anything accomplished when it's light outside for like 15 hours a day? It's a mystery I'm willing to live with, only because I kind of love these long and lazy days.

I feel like this summer, I have very little to do and oh-so-much to think about. It's a life in transition, but nothing too exciting is going on right this very second. I did run my first five mile race a few days ago with a time of 50:54, which I'm pretty happy about.

(*note: I actually ran in 50:47, which made me feel good about myself. But then 2 seconds later, I realized I placed 448th. Hmmm. Not so good)

But that's it. Today, Steve took Carolyn to see her first movie at the theater. Penny and I went shopping, which is one of her favorite things to do (we got her some new shoes and Little Mermaid underpants, fingers crossed). Here's my favorite funny story from the girls.

• When Penelope is being especially naughty (like, every 10 minutes for the last two months) and I say something like, "Penny, it's not nice when you hit Fife over the head with that truck," Carolyn always chimes in with this: "But I'm nice mommy. Aren't I nice?"
The other day, Carolyn shoved an entire banana in her mouth. When pieces started falling out onto her leg and she started scooping them up to shove them back into her mouth, I said it's not polite to eat like that. I told her that's how monkeys eat bananas. So Penny said, "But I eat it right mommy. Don't I eat it right?"

Ice cream madness

It is hard impossible not to consume too much ice cream this time of year. You're at the pool and starving. What better hot weather treat? You want a fun after-dinner outing. Of course the ice cream cone is the perfect solution.

But last week, we got ready to pounce as we heard the ice cream truck coasting through the hood. Were we ever disappointed when he picked the street behind us and the final street on his route. Poor Carolyn, following on my heels as I scrounged for change around the house, as we were left ice creamless and a bit sad.

So when we were biking down the trail last week, and spotted Mr. Ice Cream Man on a cul-de-sac, of course I let the girls have a tasty, cold treat. Sure we had just eaten a snack of grapes, but this is the ice cream man, the same one who apparently wasn't getting enough business in our neighborhood.

As a side note, Carolyn put a puzzle together this morning. Penny ran up to her and said, "Carolyn! You are so cold." I think she meant cool, but perhaps her sister's frosty disposition had finally pushed Penny over the top!

For anybody interested in Eastern Europe, check out my cousin's travel blog at http://abstrakkt.blogspot.com/ or cesty ~ путешествия ~ travels ~ reisid ~ podróże It's quite good, and a bit of a history lesson for anybody interested in them there parts.

Pool Penny

In light of my recent admonition of moms who have their kids enrolled in too much organized stuff, I realize the irony in my decision to put Penelope in swimming lessons.

Sure I could say I want her to swim for safety reasons, or because she loves the water so much I feel strongly that knowing how to properly swim might save her life.

But these would be lies.

The truth is, now that Carolyn can swim, I'm sitting there with Penny while all these little kids are enrolled for the summer, and I just feel a little bad that Carolyn gets to do it and Penny can't. So I decided to give it a go, knowing full well that my non-water loving Penelope might not take to it as well as Carolyn did.

The thing is, she took to it just as well. Maybe a little better, after having watched the routine going on six months now. Ms. Connie, the girls' teacher, told me I was so lucky to have two kids who both love water.

Who knew? Certainly I didn't.

The lesson went so well, in fact, that a mom who had planned on waiting until September to enroll her toddler decided to start next month. See that. Now I'm a trend-setter.

Who knew. Certainly I didn't.

Here's pics and a video of swimmer Penny.

Using what's left

For anybody who doesn't know, our little Penny is a leftie.

I thought it was kind of cool when she just naturally did things with her left hand. It went a long way with me in a realization that some things are not about nurture. Some things come down to the hardwiring.

But in practice, being left is kind of a pain. It's hard to teach her things. Hold a pencil. Use a fork. Swing a bat. These are things I just don't do with my left hand, so it's hard to demonstrate. Also, I have to consciously think about which way to hand her the fork, almost every time I do it.

And that doesn't even address our future pains. Left handed golf clubs. Left handed scissors. Left handed can openers. It's endless for the up to 10 percent of the population born to be left.

Kind of like pounding a square peg into a round hole. No wonder so many lesbians are left-handed. No really... they are.

Summer of Chris, part 2

So I'm sitting on the couch, enjoying a lovely cup of tea, thinking about how I just finished my last story and in the first time in more than a year, I really don't have anything to do.

Usually, these situations make me a little anxious. But I think I'll wait until next week to start worrying.

Everything here is super awesome. The weather is amazing. Today, the girls and I picked wild flowers and went to the playground. Steve took the bus to work this morning, so we'll probably walk halfway to pick him up tonight.

See... fun stuff!

Here's a picture of Carolyn being fancy, just like Fancy Nancy from the children's book. She has her sparkly scarf and sparkly shoes and sure did look extra fancy.

And I took this video of our practice camping trip we did in the backyard over the weekend. The girls take turns standing in front of the window and put on a show, which is either singing or a story. Penelope can really ham it up, as you can see.

Summer swimming

Ah, here we are again. Too busy enjoying summer to blog. Or clean. Or talk to Fife. Or... you get the point.

We're back at the pool. Only this year, we're doing the pool big time. We go to the deep pool (four to five feet, so I'm still able to stay above water a little) and I pull Penny around while Carolyn climbs out, jumps in, swims around a little and starts all over again. Since I kind of love being submerged in water, this new routine is working out very well.

Carolyn is attending this summer program. She loves it, mostly because her teacher, also a Carolyn, actually knows her name and doesn't call her Caroline. Penelope always runs up to Carolyn when we go to get her, hugs her tight and says, "I'm proud of you sister."

The class is during Penelope's nap, so that allows me a solid hour and a half to work watch television/play on the Internet/nap/stare out the window.

And today, Steve taught Carolyn this little bit of hilarity. It's not as foxing funny as learning fox sounds just like the F-word from Penny, but it's still pretty cute. I'll try to post a video soon.

Give me five (Slap hand)
Up high (raise hand)
Down low (lower hand and move it quickly away)
Too slow.

(Then she makes a hole with her finger)
Put your finger in the hole.
(I've never hear this part! I do what I'm told)
You just broke my toilet bowl.

I need a new summer song

That's because summer is here. Woohoo... Yeahhhh... Summer!!!!

Since these days I'm relaxing poolside, by which I mean desperately trying to keep both girls at the shallow end as they continually disappear behind a wall of bratty preteens who keep splashing me in the face, I don't have a lot of time to blog.

So here's the skinny. Carolyn is really great. She's playing quietly in her room at the moment while Penelope naps. When I say, "Carolyn, it's time to leave this super fun pool to go home and sleep," she says OK. She knows almost all her letters (she has a hard time with R for whatever reason) and can write her name. She's just waiting to turn 5 so she can get a library card.

Penelope. Well. We love Penelope. We really, really do. But sometimes, it's a little hard to remember. It's that little thing we call the terrible 2s, like when I say we have to leave the pool and she screams (and kicks) for the entire 10 minutes it takes to drag her out of there in a scene that makes it necessary for me to apologize to the teenagers working there.

Oh, she's a handful, my Penny. But we love her and smile politely when people say, "Oh she's so pretty. She's so sweet. She's so polite." Um. Yeah.

That's it right now. Just know that I'm super tan, muscular from all my running and biking, and totally in need of a babysitter, in case any of you know any. Have a fantastic summer.