Competitive parenting

Remember when your baby was first born and he/she was perfect? Nobody could match the perfection of this tiny, perfect child.

And then, like, a week later, you started listening to the "milestones" about smiling, rolling over, sitting up, saying mama, walking, talking, doing advanced math, spotting major constellations, identifying the ingredients in mole, blah, blah, blah.

Well, if you happen to be a comparer, let me tell you, it doesn't get any better. Now I'm in major overdrive of comparing Carolyn to every single kid she comes into contact with. I do it at swimming. At school. At the playground.

I am deeply engrossed in the sport of competitive parenting, and there really is no winner. Which sort of sucks, because competitive people like to win.

This is so totally not the fault of Carolyn, who is awesome, and I fully acknowledge this fact. But when her handwriting is less than perfect and her swimming is downright horrible, I cast blame and look for fault in my own parenting. Her failings become my failings and that makes me angry.

But who wants to be an angry person. Or worse, an angry mom. And I am fully aware that this will not improve in the coming years. Competition will only get worse, and pretty soon, even Carolyn might come to realize it.

This blog really has no point other than to admit my shortcoming and try to work on it. Children are not direct reflections of their parents. They have their own road to walk, most of the time without a grownup to hold their hands. And instead of being ultra-critical (my very best specialty) I will work on being ultra-supportive and only give a push every once in a while, because I'm not about to give up altogether.

But since she's only 5, and not trying out for the Olympics next year or applying to Harvard the year after next, I'll give her a break and let her enjoy all these new things in her life.

I will try very, very hard.