New post

I'm basically adding a post because I haven't been posting much. Things in school are extremely stressful. We're doing this thing they call "front loading" that essentially means the teachers are trying to get us as much information as possible before we walk into the hospital. This means we attend class for about six hours of very fast lecture every day.

It is ever so much fun.

This program actually is changing next year based on several factors. I guess the strange schedule that doesn't fit in with the rest of the university, the scattered resources and "front loading" have all affected the university's decision to change this 12-month program into a 16-month program.

Right now, we have four 12-week session. The new program will have a summer session, followed by a regular year with traditional nursing students, followed by a second summer session. While this logically makes sense, I'm so, so, so thankful I didn't wait until 2011 to apply, because this would have meant I would have started 6 months later than expected and been in school almost an extra year.

So... while I bitch and moan about the pace and how school blows and how I never see my family, I actually am doing exactly what I wanted to do, exactly when I wanted to do it.

All in all, a pretty sweet deal. Even with the front loading.

Second session sleepies

For whatever reason, this second session is making me tired.

Maybe it's the six hours of lecture about perioperative care. Maybe it's the two tests next week. Maybe it's the two exams next week or the basement caves where I learn how to be a nurse as the rest of the world enjoys spring and frolics about on campus. (I should post about our classroom situation next week with pictures because now that we've been given a taste of windows, I'm not sure I like it.)

Who knows why so sleepy. I am a little worried I'm going to have a hard time of it when I start clinicals in a few weeks that require me to get up at 4 a.m. Yep. It'll be interesting to see how that goes.

Session 2: Bring it

Despite the 1 point fiasco, I managed to survive my first semester of nursing school with three As and one very high B. Pretty fantastic.

Now, after a Friday off and one whole, entire weekend, I'm back in school. And I've done what any great nursing student does to prepare. I print. I print and print and print some more. I print things that make no sense to me at all. I convert .docx to .doc files and then I print them. I print student evaluation forms and power point presentations and case studies.

And then... I sit on the couch and watch basketball, pretending my three-day break actually lasted four days. Because even though I'm not caught up on my printing, I'm caught up for tomorrow and that's fine by me.

Final blues

I'm having a nice pity party. Turns out, mediocrity is my specialty. I got a B in my health assessment class. Final grade: 89.3 percent. That's one point out of 768 points that's keeping me from my A. Dammit....

One additional point on an online quiz (I missed three!). A half question on any exam. Just 10 more minutes of studying.

I think it's God smiting me for not going to confession last night like I had planned. Steve said God stopped smiting people in the Old Testament, but I kinda think he still does it, but just on a smaller scale.

On a less whiny note, I got an A in patho. Like it matters now. I'm going back to my party. It's on the couch and it's cozy, in case you were wondering.

The calm before the shit starts hitting my life

I feel bad complaining that I don't have much to do right now. Like today. Out of class by 1. I talked to some old (dear-old, not old-old) friends on the phone. I watched my show (Rafe is, like, so hot!).

My paper is done. I'm pretty solid on my grades. Finals next week. It's been very nice outside.

But in about a month, that all ends. Two clinicals a week. One in Springfield, which is only about an hour and a half away. Crazy... But life is much too fun right now to be blogging.

Bye.......

One more week

I have one more week of classes, followed by a week of finals, and I'm done with this first session.

Wow. I should feel great about almost being 25 percent done with nursing school. But all I feel is nervous. Nervous about this second, more strenuous second session schedule. Nervous about two clinicals a weeks. Nervous about being busy while everybody else gets to enjoy summer. Nervous about my hour and a half commute with a new carpool partner.

Also, I spent six straight hours locked in my basement cave today writing a five-page paper. FIVE PAGES. And I'm a writer! What happened to my brain?

I spoke too soon

I recently e-mailed a friend of mine about how being in back in school at 36 was really no big deal.

This is what I get for bragging.

It's not enough that the girls (it's nursing school, so almost all women/girls) were talking about getting wasted recently, or that they'll be headed to the bar at 2 p.m. tomorrow afternoon for St. Pat's Day. But, I was the volunteer for our neurology assessment today, which includes reflexes. My reflexes were horrible. While the 23-year-old's were practically kicking themselves in the head with their super-awesome reflexes, mine were barely visible mini kicks, which I guess is sort of age related.

Now, I can take the funny talk about being old, the self deprecation and the idea of being the "sort of (not really) coolish, olderish person." But it's a whole different story when it's physiological.

Nothing like the body saying "Don't you think you're a little old for this?"

Not a superhero

I can't do it all. Well, I guess I can, but I can't and stay sane.

So I backed out of a freelance job I had taken over spring break. I took it specifically to do over break, but it's Thursday and no assignment yet. So I quit.

It's official. I'm a quitter.

This is just a small public confession to my feeling bad. Somehow, it always makes me feel better. Thanks for listening!

What mediocrity feels like

In just a few short weeks, I'll be done with my first session of nursing school. One down. Four to go.

This is good news and it seems like passing won't be the problem I originally expected. But after this brutal week of tests, it seems I'm getting a 89 percent average on tests in two classes.

OH MY GOD... An 89 percent!!!!

Steve tells me my insane desire to get all As all the time is, well, insane. Whether I get As or Cs in all my classes has very little bearing on my nursing career (unless there's a grad school in my future, which Steve tells me is just simply not the case) but I can't help but feel getting all As is the only acceptable route.

I might be more open to Bs if I wasn't carrying a strong A in the class I had thought would be the hardest. Of course I'm speaking of pathophysiology. That's right. I'm a super nerd.

Speaking of nerds, tell me this isn't the finest grouping you've ever seen. Last day of clinicals. I'm free. I'm free (for a few days). I'm finally free....

There can be only one....

(good one)....

Turns out, only one child at a time can be the good one. Like, Carolyn's a handful and Penny's sweet as sweet potato pie. Carolyn starts doing great in school and being really considerate, and Penny kicks me during an evening walk, just because she's pissed off.

Penny was pretty sick about a week ago. She had it pretty bad (virus, fever, pain... pretty much the whole nine ugh yards). I think I've mentioned this before, but when she's sick, she pretty much just lays on the couch and is super cuddly. But, surprise-surprise, when she comes out of it, bad things happen. And this time was not only not an exception, it was an example.

But I was pretty much aware of nothing. That's because I took four tests this week. I wrote three papers. I did an abdominal exam proficiency. And that's what I did.

Incidentally, I also scared the shit out of my Adult Nursing 1 instructor yesterday as I ran by her on the trail, scream "HI!!!!" and kept on running when it became clear she had no idea who I was.

Sorry for posting a series of non sequiturs. But that's what my life is right now. A moment here. A moment there. Turns out, I'm not really anywhere. Also, I've given up Facebook for Lent so I need a place to put all my small, insignificant thought(s).

The things you learn in Nursing school

Sort of the point of this blog, but lately I'm too tired to care much about blogging.

But here's an interesting tidbit: During our Health Assessment class this week, we were assessing each others' abdomens. While it's loads of fun to show off my big, fat stomach to my super skinny labmate, it's also very educational.

For instance, I learned I have a super tiny liver. This is both very nice and a little surprising. I guess all that wine hasn't grown my liver into the size of a small state.

Let's drink to that!

What I'll do for a three-day weekend

I started today with a test at 8 a.m., followed by a heart and lung assessment proficiency and, finally, ending at 2 a.m. after an 11-hour clinical.

Yes. It was totally worth it for a three-day weekend.

Birthday break

Haha... Not for me. My life is relatively break -free for the moment. I took 107 question Path test a few days ago (and, amazingly, got 103 correct just because I'm so super brainy) and today I start a nightmarish clinical rotation that includes a test at 8 a.m., a heart and lung assessment at 11 a.m., clinicals at 3, bed at 10 and up again at 4 for more clinicals.

I felt sort of sad writing all that.

But the reason I'm blogging is Carolyn. She's 6! While her birthday was sort of a bummer because a bout of the sick, it was actually sort of nice because she's got a visiting grandma, she got a DS for her birthday, and she gets a B-day extension because she gets her school celebration today.

But... that's not the reason I'm writing either.

Yesterday, I guess she was being sort of mad about something. Steve said that sounded like whining. You know... the sort of noise a 5-year-old might make. He asked her, "Are you 5 or 6?"

"Daddy! It's just my first day."

Now. That's why I'm writing.

Perspective

You might wonder what that previous title, a title without an entry, was all about. Well, when you leave your lunch in the car, then go to Jimmy John's to get a sandwich, and promptly lose that sandwich on the one-block walk back to class, you appear just the slightest bit crazy when you return to Jimmy John's to ask if anybody turned in a sandwich.

Bad week.

But today, I'm realizing not really all that bad.

For instance, my Health Assessment teacher is going through chemo for breast cancer. As an aside, I think I'm in love with her. She's about the best teacher I ever had. Today during lecture, she pulled out a huge chunk of her own hair and I about started crying. She'll probably be fine and all, but what an incredibly personal way to interact with her class. I know this, because I had to stick my hands down a classmates pants the other day as I looked for the femoral vein.

Then, I called my well-elder for my clinical project. This guy really isn't "well" in the way most people are. For instance, he's 93 and pretty disgusting. Last week I picked up a 5 pound, urine-soaked pad off his living room floor. Anyway, I called him tonight and he told me his blood-work came back and things aren't looking so hot.

And my "frail" elder is on hospice. So there's that.

In the grand scheme of things, losing a sandwich doesn't seem like such a big deal. Neither does the incident where the bus driver yelled at me, or the frustration of not being able to keep track of everything, or the broken dryer, or the Intro test I don't feel great about.

Then why does it feel like such a big deal?

"Did anybody turn in a sandwich?"

Intro to feeling like a dumbass

Nothing feels quite as lovely as somebody making you feel like the biggest idiot in the world.

Enter my Intro to Nursing teacher, although I use that term loosely.

Today, we were learning to write care plans, which is something probably all nursing students learn and hate. While meeting in little groups, she came around and we asked her some questions about nighttime urinary output and edema, or swelling in the ankles.

"Well, what happens to heart perfusion when you lay down?" she said.

"It goes down," one girl said.

"WHAT??? WHAT??? GOES DOWN???"

"Well, we're not sure what it does," we all agreed, nervously nodding to one another.

"WHAT??? WHAT??? Just think about it." To illustrate her eloquent point, she made her ink pen stand up, lay down, stand up, lay down.

Of course, she went on, it goes up. Of course it does. Then she walked away sort of disgusted in all of us. This from a woman who told us the right diagnosis wasn't in the book we were using. A book she clearly hates.

Well readers of this blog, if a few months, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to say I got 100 percent on my first Patho exam, but I needed to drop out of college because I failed Intro to Nursing. Oh, what a proud day that will be.

Pathophysiology and pharmacology

A few months ago, I wasn't even sure what pathophysiology meant. Spell check doesn't even acknowledge it as a word. Today, I took my first test.

100 percent!!!! That's right.

Sure the tests will continue to get harder. Sure I probably overstudied. Sure it's sort of wrong of me to gloat about getting the only perfect score (that I know of, although it's a group of 25 people who I see for 6-8 hours every day).

But it sure is a nice ego-booster and, hopefully, a sign of things to come.

Another great day at clinicals

I have next-to-no-time available to me this weekend, but I just had to mention the fantastic day I had yesterday at clinicals.

I GAVE SHOTS!!!!

Totally awesome. I gave eight H1N1 shots to Alzheimer's patients, so the lady that screamed bloody murder ended up following me around for 30 minutes because she couldn't really remember I was the person she hated. Anyway, I gave more shots than anybody else in my group because I'm pretty fast. It's a mom thing. Turns out, being a mom is a good training course for being a nurse.

I also had great interviews with my two patients and will be passing meds next week.

Well, back to my studying. I have a pathophysiology test Monday and a health assessment test Tuesday. Turns out, studying for tests is not nearly as fun as giving shots.

Test 1 down; 15 to go

That's 15 tests left this session. Then just three sessions after that. And 16 more tests per session. Now I'm hyperventilating. Now I'm freaking out. Step back. Just think about Saturday. Saturday....

Ahhh. That's better.

So where was I? Oh yes, my first test down. I got an 89 percent. Not too shabby. Almost an A, not that it matters. That's what the group collectively decided today. Grades are not important as long as we pass the classes and, more importantly, the NCLEX, the national licensing exam.

But that's 50 weeks further ahead than I'm allowing myself to think.

Clinical goodness

So... Just two weeks and we're in the clinical setting. It's a nursing home but it's such a great break after sitting in a classroom for hours upon hours each week. Not that I don't love learning about drug metabolism for the third time in one week, but the break is nice.

My group is at a very rural nursing home in the middle of a cornfield. It's run by Mennonites, which I mistakenly believed are Amish-like. I do know they make a mean strawberry pie by the annual Mennonite strawberry pie festival. Anyway, it's a really interesting place.

All the students get a frail elder and a well elder for this clinical rotation. My frail elder is dying. I am not at all joking about this. She's dying and will likely die during my rotation. While I find this very sad, but I also think it might be a great opportunity for both me and this patient to enter the dying process together. Truth be told, it will probably definitely be a better opportunity for me than for her, but I hope we both benefit from it.

My well elder is a very gossipy old guy who pretty much lives in his own filth. I'm approaching this as my "light" assignment and not getting too creeped out by the old-man smell.

Another benefit of clinical is my carpool group. They are a group of very ambitious young women who I like very much. They are so cute and driven and smart. And... they asked me to come study with them. We're meeting to study for a test Monday night. I finally feel the emergence of the college student I always knew I could be, instead of the one that was too hung over to come to class so many years ago. I'm super excited.