A quick blog for a quick trip

I don't blog much because I find facebook so much faster and much better with the instant gratification. Also, not much is happening. I finished clinicals and going into my last session in a few weeks. Next? The job search. The girls started school, which is something big, I guess. Last week was so crazy I just didn't have time to process it much less blog about it.

Short version... Penny is at the fancy-shmancy university school run by ISU. She's in preschool, which we pay for, but she's guaranteed a spot in the regular school, which is free. It's very fancy, which swimming lessons during school and lots of activities.

Carolyn is still at her ghetto school, which I sort of love. I LOVE her teacher and everything seems to be going along great this year. She's joining the Daisy's (an arm of girl scouts) this year and she's really good at math.

So, I'm blogging to post some pictures to our quick trip to Chicago. Well, not really Chicago, but a consumer version of it. We went to the suburbs to go to Ikea, the fancy mall, the Lego museum and the Cheesecake Factory. And yes... of course I'm embarrassed by the nature of this buy, buy, buy trip, but I also had a great time at Ikea, so that made me feel a little better.

Here's the pics before I dig my hole a little deeper.

First memories

One of my first memories is pulling the chair out from underneath my mother while she was hanging out with her friends. It was a last second decision that I instantly regretted and I began to cry almost before her butt hit the floor.

For Steve, it was a time he took a candy bar from the grocery store aisle and ate it while his busy mother focused on the groceries. He was halfway done with the candy before his crime was discovered, a crime he would pay for in spankings.

I believe Penny had her first memory yesterday. She picked up a rock and threw it right at a lifeguard, hitting her!!!! The girls are always picking up rocks and throwing them, and I'm always telling them to not to pick up rocks and throw them. I honestly believe she didn't mean to hit the lifeguard, but that's what happened.

In true "this is my child" fashion, she started to cry almost immediately after the rock hit the ground. I saw the entire thing, so it was made slightly worse by my very, very angry tone of voice. For almost 15 minutes we had to deal with heavy sobbing as we worked through this problem. And... in the end... it is my strong belief that her rock-throwing days are behind her.

Miracles

This session is a total and complete nightmare... sort of. My group, as a whole (definitely with exceptions) is not very much fun. There's tons of homework. I hate, hate, hate one of my clinicals and I hate the instructor even more. I work nights, blah, blah, blah and more of the same.

But....

I got to watch a real, live birth yesterday. Not only that, I got to do all the baby care and assessments in the first hour of the baby's life. It was AMAZING!!!! I felt overwhelmed and excited and incompetent and exhilarated all at once. It was, by far, the most amazing day of this semester.

And part of the session has actually been great. We've been at a children's hospital the two and a half weeks. I thought that experience was also amazing, but with fewer caps. I thought I would be really annoyed by the parents, or lack thereof. But really, that hasn't been too big a deal for me. I just love caring for children. There's something intuitive about caring for children. Although, like my instructor pointed out, a child's death is something that some nurses just don't want to do. And I get that. But I will say, little kid poop is SO much better than old man poop.

And not that I'm counting or anything, but 30 weeks down, 18 to go. Woot-woot, as the good people on Facebook would say.

Whew. Glad that's over.

I just finished up my once-a-session nervous breakdown. It was a particularly bad breakdown that had me sobbing into my keyboard at 10 p.m. Friday night as I finished up an online assignment.

Haha, right! Yeah, I'm totally serious. No exaggerating or anything.

I feel most bad about involving one of my classmates. At the very beginning of my breakdown, I was totally stressed out while doing a group project. Poor guy expected the usual cheery, optimistic Chris and got something that seemed to scare him just a little.

That's the accelerated program. One day, you're taking care of people, feeling super nursey, and the next day you're crying into your keyboard, feeling old and ridiculous. It's the constant demands without any relief. And it's so all-consuming that Steve doesn't even want to hear the word "nurse" anymore. But, as I mentioned in the title, at least the breakdown is over and I can go back to my normal, not crazy self.

At least until the fourth session....

Very busy

I haven't had a lot of time to post. Clinicals started so that means four 10-hour days a week... plus commuting... plus homework... plus time worked in to bitch about the commute and the homework.

Everybody made it back safe and sound from Texas. Well... sound at least. Penny broke her arm and has a big purple cast. She loves to show it off and it doesn't seem to be bothering her at all. It is sort of a bummer she can't finish out her Wee Ball season (and now, she'll probably never go pro... dammit) but mostly it's not a big deal at all.

So here's a few pictures to tide you over until I have more than five minutes.

Back to Normal

I'm back from my fun-filled weekend in the foothills of Texas. From Normal, Ill. to Utopia, Tx. That's how I roll.

The trip was fun, but Steve has the camera so more on that later.

My biggest adventure was actually getting to Texas after that tropical storm hit on Thursday. Our tiny plane from Bloomington (I ♥ you Bloomington airport) was en route to Dallas when the Dallas airport shut down. We circled for a bit, but then gas issues (frankly, I'm surprised that little plane has enough gas to get to Dallas, much less circle) dictated we needed to land in Oklahoma City.

Only, en route to Oklahoma City, that airport closed. So... and if you know me, this is the funny part.... we landed in Tulsa. That's right. Home to the in-laws. Who were in Utopia. Well, they were near Utopia.

And in Tulsa we stayed. Right on the tarmac. For almost two hours!

We finally got back in the air to Dallas, and when we landed my plane to San Antonio was boarding. I don't know if any of you have been to the Dallas airport before, but let's say it's no Bloomington airport. I full on ran and caught my plane, which had about 50 people standing out front, waiting to board standby. About two minutes after I got on, the remaining two seats were given to other people.

Thank you God for making me a runner two years ago, if only because it was the singular reason I made my plane and the day was saved.

And bonus. The restaurant at the hotel was still open when I got there at 11 and I had the most delicious salad I have ever eaten, all while watching Seinfeld.

The Queen of Hyperbole

This is what Steve calls me. It's because I don't half-ass anything, not even my declarations that "This is the best weekend, EVER!!!!!"

Apparently I say this almost every weekend. But this weekend it really was true. Now (boo), this is the worst Tuesday, ever.... Steve and the girls left for Texas today (which, haha on me, is actually cooler temp-wise than it is in Illinois right now) so I'm in my basement, writing about the girls and catching up on my printing.

Say what you will, an empty house is good for getting some quality printing done.

But, here's some pictures from the weekend, the best weekend EVER!

There was a dance party, USA style!

We went to the pool.

And you probably can't tell from this picture, but Carolyn just finished going down the red slide. I"ll call it suicide slide. It drops you straight down so it feels like you're free falling. I rode it once, and that was enough thank you very much.
Carolyn climbed a tree!

And Charlie got stuck in a tree.

And let's not forget the All-American sport of sibling T-ball!

So, obviously, you can see where I get this Best Weekend Ever stuff.

Best day (ever?) in a super long time

I had all these plans to get caught up today. "Caught up" meaning getting a bunch of projects done today that are due 12 weeks from now. But I'm no fool. By now, I know that eight weeks from now, there will be no time for extra stuff, even if extra is mandatory.

But still, when I left for my clinical hours at a daycare center today, fully intending to spend the rest of the day at the library, I realized something. I realized Penny needed me to be home. She NEEDED it. So I made the decision to get the girls before noon, make lunch and just spend the day at home.

What a great decision. I am literally patting myself on the back while I type this. I'm that good.

Anyway, I made lunch. Spider Man mac and cheese. A big hit. Penny slept for a marathon 2 1/2 hour session (told you she needed it) while I finished up my homework and Carolyn spent some quality time with her DS.

Then the fun started. I got to spoil my girls in a way I usually don't get to do. I let them chase down the ice cream truck. I played mermaid at the pool. I promised them some Silly Bandz from Walgreens tomorrow (it was only a matter of time before they learned about the lure of silly bandz). I downloaded my first Miley Cyrus song on iTunes, not to mention a couple of songs to satiate the girls' Black Eyed Peas appetite. We watched Carolyn play t-ball, including a very well-intentioned try at first base. Go Green Bugs!!!

So it was a good day. A very good day.

Girls, girls, girls

Here's a quick update, mostly because I just bought a new camera over the weekend and I wanted to look at the new pictures that will no longer have that annoying black dot floating in the middle of all my photos.

It's a quick update because I started my third session of school today. I'm trying to wrap my brain around the homework assignments, which seem to be numerous and scattered throughout the calendar in a way that makes me think my teacher sorta hates students. But I'm wading through it all, doing my best.

Speaking of wading, the girls finished swim classes last week. They are super cute in their goggles and swim caps, especially when they're hugging. Don't ya think...

Penny took her first leap off the diving board and said it wasn't scary at all.


She and Carolyn are both doing awesome at the pool. I seemed to have gotten a couple of guppies. Carolyn's favorite game is to swim to the middle of the pool and just sort of hang out. I'm terrified the lifeguard is going to assume she's struggling, even though she's just pretending "I'm a fish in a pool."

Here's a couple of more, just because they're so darn cute. Also, it reminds me just how lucky I am. A former co-worker of mine who is just 40 and has a young daughter died over the weekend. It is so, so, so sad. I'm hearing she had cancer, but my heart goes out to her and her family. It really makes you take stock of the important things, which happen to be:

B's get degrees

In nursing school, we say this to ourselves a lot. On particularly bad weeks, we change it to "C's get degrees."

But secretly, we all (most of us because I'm sure there's at least two non A-type personalities in this program) feel like failures with anything less than an A. At this time, I'll stop using the word "we." When I got straight B's this session, I didn't feel like a failure, but I did feel like I would have liked at least one A. I also felt a huge relief that I passed because this session was a real bitch.

So it was sort of like Christmas morning today when I got an announcement that some lost extra-credit has affected the grades of two students and I saw one of those students was ME!!! I got an A in Adult 2, totally the hardest class I've had yet. And it's 7 credits! That's huge.

I'm enjoying my four-day holiday by not doing much of anything. Well, I'm carting the girls off to swimming practice, taking them to the pool for some fun, hanging out with my mom who's come to visit and then going to T-ball practices. And I finished my fun book already ("The Curious Case of the Dog in the Night," which I really enjoyed). And I went running. Had a picnic in the park. Going to the pool again later today.

But other than that, I'm taking it easy. Gotta enjoy these days off, right!

One down, two to go

I love finals week. You'd think it would be incredibly hard, but comparatively speaking, it's pretty much cake. No lectures. No clinicals. No homework. I go to class to take a test for two hours and then I'm done for the rest of the day.

And by done, I mean I sit in the basement for six hours looking through my 2,630-word Med-Surg textbook looking up stuff I'm pretty sure I've never heard or read about before today.

See... Cake!

To make this week even better (and it really is pretty awesome, actually), I found my missing netbook. Well, not me, but the lovely custodial staff at Illinois State University. I guess I left it in the classroom on Thursday (yes, I know today is Tuesday) and they turned it in to the university police. Awesome! I know some department that's getting a big old Thank You e-mail later this week.

I'm back... sorta...

Summer has made it abundantly clear that life is very quickly passing me by. I don't record my always insightful thoughts anymore. I don't take pictures of my girls. I didn't even go outside today. All day....

But there is so much going on right now that it would be sinful not to try and get some of that down. And because I believe in the very depths of my heart that the worst of school is now behind me (just three finals before I'm half a nurse!!!!) I feel I can devote some time to recording this insanely crazy year.

For instance, I watched someone escape from a state-run mental institution last week. Scaled the fence and all. I have finished my first rotation in a hospital and I got to see a surgery. It was super cool. School was very, very difficult this last session. It was either test after test after test, or 16 hours of homework every weekend. Sometimes both. I still run, but not a lot. I ran a very slow 4 miles this weekend and thought I was doing pretty good.

And then there's the family. Where to begin? Well, Penny got in Metcalf, which is this super cool public school (experimental school, actually) run by Illinois State University. We're going on a family reunion in a few weeks. Texas! In July! Yes, this really is the plan... Carolyn is reading!

Here's just a sampling of the rest.

• We put a swing in the backyard.


• We turned on the sprinkler and put up the hammock.

• Carolyn is signed up for T-ball. She had her first game Friday. She's not really very good, but she's very fast. Penny is playing Wee Ball. She is both good and fast. I love the no-nonsense look she gets on her face when she practices.

• We go to the pool.... A LOT...


And there you have it. All caught up.

I ain't going to blog no more

In reply to Julia's question about whether I'll blog again, I'm here to say no. Well, except for this blog, or if something really horrible happens. But for the most part: No. I will not be blogging anymore.

And here is why.

My life is an emotional roller coaster that would be hard to reconstruct daily into an amusing observation. For instance, my day might start off fine, followed by something emotionally horrible, followed by a really amazing experience. I do not have the stamina to record these near-daily ups and downs. I'd really like to record all my self-perceived incompetence, which proved to be pretty funny in the parenting department, but back when I was merely parenting I had time to dwell on and reconstruct those awful moments of self-doubt. Today, I can barely remember the reason for the breakdown that sent me into a downward spiral on Wednesday. (That's totally true, and not stated for effect).

So let's just say that I'm 85 percent sure I'll pass this session (even though my grades have been slipping as the session wears on) and I'm having some great experiences. For instance, I'm working at a hospital and at a state mental institution which houses a guy being investigated by the CIA. For real... But that's all I know for now.

Sorry Julia. You'll just have to rely on my comments on your blog for information. BTW... Julia's blog is awesome. Anybody reading this blog should definitely start reading hers.

New post

I'm basically adding a post because I haven't been posting much. Things in school are extremely stressful. We're doing this thing they call "front loading" that essentially means the teachers are trying to get us as much information as possible before we walk into the hospital. This means we attend class for about six hours of very fast lecture every day.

It is ever so much fun.

This program actually is changing next year based on several factors. I guess the strange schedule that doesn't fit in with the rest of the university, the scattered resources and "front loading" have all affected the university's decision to change this 12-month program into a 16-month program.

Right now, we have four 12-week session. The new program will have a summer session, followed by a regular year with traditional nursing students, followed by a second summer session. While this logically makes sense, I'm so, so, so thankful I didn't wait until 2011 to apply, because this would have meant I would have started 6 months later than expected and been in school almost an extra year.

So... while I bitch and moan about the pace and how school blows and how I never see my family, I actually am doing exactly what I wanted to do, exactly when I wanted to do it.

All in all, a pretty sweet deal. Even with the front loading.

Second session sleepies

For whatever reason, this second session is making me tired.

Maybe it's the six hours of lecture about perioperative care. Maybe it's the two tests next week. Maybe it's the two exams next week or the basement caves where I learn how to be a nurse as the rest of the world enjoys spring and frolics about on campus. (I should post about our classroom situation next week with pictures because now that we've been given a taste of windows, I'm not sure I like it.)

Who knows why so sleepy. I am a little worried I'm going to have a hard time of it when I start clinicals in a few weeks that require me to get up at 4 a.m. Yep. It'll be interesting to see how that goes.

Session 2: Bring it

Despite the 1 point fiasco, I managed to survive my first semester of nursing school with three As and one very high B. Pretty fantastic.

Now, after a Friday off and one whole, entire weekend, I'm back in school. And I've done what any great nursing student does to prepare. I print. I print and print and print some more. I print things that make no sense to me at all. I convert .docx to .doc files and then I print them. I print student evaluation forms and power point presentations and case studies.

And then... I sit on the couch and watch basketball, pretending my three-day break actually lasted four days. Because even though I'm not caught up on my printing, I'm caught up for tomorrow and that's fine by me.

Final blues

I'm having a nice pity party. Turns out, mediocrity is my specialty. I got a B in my health assessment class. Final grade: 89.3 percent. That's one point out of 768 points that's keeping me from my A. Dammit....

One additional point on an online quiz (I missed three!). A half question on any exam. Just 10 more minutes of studying.

I think it's God smiting me for not going to confession last night like I had planned. Steve said God stopped smiting people in the Old Testament, but I kinda think he still does it, but just on a smaller scale.

On a less whiny note, I got an A in patho. Like it matters now. I'm going back to my party. It's on the couch and it's cozy, in case you were wondering.

The calm before the shit starts hitting my life

I feel bad complaining that I don't have much to do right now. Like today. Out of class by 1. I talked to some old (dear-old, not old-old) friends on the phone. I watched my show (Rafe is, like, so hot!).

My paper is done. I'm pretty solid on my grades. Finals next week. It's been very nice outside.

But in about a month, that all ends. Two clinicals a week. One in Springfield, which is only about an hour and a half away. Crazy... But life is much too fun right now to be blogging.

Bye.......

One more week

I have one more week of classes, followed by a week of finals, and I'm done with this first session.

Wow. I should feel great about almost being 25 percent done with nursing school. But all I feel is nervous. Nervous about this second, more strenuous second session schedule. Nervous about two clinicals a weeks. Nervous about being busy while everybody else gets to enjoy summer. Nervous about my hour and a half commute with a new carpool partner.

Also, I spent six straight hours locked in my basement cave today writing a five-page paper. FIVE PAGES. And I'm a writer! What happened to my brain?

I spoke too soon

I recently e-mailed a friend of mine about how being in back in school at 36 was really no big deal.

This is what I get for bragging.

It's not enough that the girls (it's nursing school, so almost all women/girls) were talking about getting wasted recently, or that they'll be headed to the bar at 2 p.m. tomorrow afternoon for St. Pat's Day. But, I was the volunteer for our neurology assessment today, which includes reflexes. My reflexes were horrible. While the 23-year-old's were practically kicking themselves in the head with their super-awesome reflexes, mine were barely visible mini kicks, which I guess is sort of age related.

Now, I can take the funny talk about being old, the self deprecation and the idea of being the "sort of (not really) coolish, olderish person." But it's a whole different story when it's physiological.

Nothing like the body saying "Don't you think you're a little old for this?"