fiasco

Since even I am not a good enough writer to convey the insanity of today, I will start with one simple piece of advice: If you have a giant tree branch that is dangling over a live electrical wire, for the love of Pete, call a professional.

Now, here's a little taste of this several-day experience.

Chris: Hey Pa. That th're tree company wants $500 to cut down that th're branch.

Steve: Good gosh woman. We'll go on and do it ourselves.

(Several days pass of Steve trying to throw a robe (*editor's note: maybe it would have worked better if he were throwing a rope) over the branch, or at least hit it when he throw it up.)

Steve: Hey ma. I got er. Let's get to pullen.

(Several days of pulling branch pass)

Chris: Yoweeeowlswejkljskldfhjsdfjdsfkjfds

Neighbor's house: Pop

Steve: Oh, now we went and done it. We pulled our neighbor's electric dagnabbits out of that there house.

Chris: Durn Steve. That tree nearly fell on my head.

This could go on for quite a while. Basically, we got the tree down. We did not lose electricity. We now have to pay for the electrician to fix our neighbor's wires, which we somehow managed to pull down. Our neighbors, who laughed off the whole thing, are so awesome I'm thinking of asking if they need any help with their trees.

It's impossible to know how Steve and I only have four brain cells between the two of us. Impossible.