The girls and I, at this moment, are watching the first of many viewings of "A Charlie Brown Christmas," perhaps the best expression of exactly how I feel about the holiday.
Charlie Brown: I just don't understand Christmas, I guess. I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but I'm still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed.Anyway, I was all ready to talk about how I feel uninspired to write Christmas cards nobody will read, bake Christmas cookies nobody really needs and fill my house with toys the kids will hardly even notice among the piles of toys they already own. It's too icy outside to run. It takes us 30 minutes of dressing in winter gear each day to leave the house, something we do several times each day. The stores are filled with people trying to outspend each other.
I felt full of woe.
Then I learned the last newspaper I worked for was laying off half the staff. HALF. An announcement they made, of course, right before Christmas.
So I decided to look around. I live in a house I really like, in a place I've learned to look at as my home. My girls are growing and full of joy. I love my husband. I have freelance work and lots of bread to bake.
What a life! I never thought I'd amount to much more than a heroin addict (which seems to be an ongoing theme in my I Hate Christmas blog), so this is a life I couldn't have dreamed of having. And if one month of the year crams commercialism and holiday cheer down our throats like a well-meaning pixie cup of poisoned grape soda, then that's fine by me.
And there's always Christmas music and Charlie Brown to get me through. I'm watching the part where Linus quotes "And on Earth peace. Good will toward men" and I'm seriously all choked up.
But if that doesn't work, there always lots of beer and wine!
2 comments:
A heroin addict? I'm sorry you don't like Christmas. I've started feeling that way the last few years...when I think about trying to explain the rituals of the season to Isaac, I start to wonder myself. Why is there a tree in my living room? Why do I wait until Christmas time to bake certain cookies? What's the point of just exchanging gift cards with people? Hope you get to run soon.
I totally agree with you on the suckyness of Christmas commercialism. So many people are so into it too. My neighbors upstairs (a hispanic family) decorated the outside of their apartment fully and beautifully. Then someone stole the lights that went down the staircase.
Merry Christmas.
And, yes, we are lucky we have what we have while we have it. Perhaps Thanksgiving is the better holiday!
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