Mom of the year — volume 536

I'm not sure why the kids always wait until we have company to have their most horrible accidents. But they do.

For instance, my mother-in-law is in town. She's a lovely woman.

So I'm sure Penny waited until she was here to try this. In fact, this is one accident I've always been afraid of happening. I have actually yelled at Steve many, many times in an effort to train him to do just one thing — put his razor away.

Here's the funny little kicker. My razor wasn't put away. And when Penny took her nightly trip to the potty, and lingered a little longer than necessary, we didn't think much of it. We were busy chit-chatting the evening away.

But then she walked out, as if caught red handed, or rather red-lipped. Apparently, she tried to shave her lips off.

((I'll pause here until the shivers stops.))

The cuts weren't too bad, and mostly superficial, but nobody wants to see their 3-year-old leave the bathroom with blood pouring out of her mouth. She wasn't so much hurt as very, very afraid of being punished for using something she knew was off limits. To think it was my fault for leaving the razor out. Ugh... It's just too much guilt and grossed-out-ness to handle.

Steve on the other hand, was just a little happy (after the initial shock, of course) this mini-tragedy did not fall on him, after 5 years of yelling for him to put that damn razor away. Instead, this burden landed squarely on the shoulders of the yeller, i.e. me.

Still, there was a lot of blood. Seldom does justice cause such a case of the willies.

Wacky Wednesday... Part 2

Carolyn had Wacky Wednesday at school today. She was super excited about it, both to show off her own wackiness and to see what other kids did to look wacky. If it's one thing we can pull off, it's wacky.

Last night, we put her hair in a bunch of tiny braids. Right before school, we took them out and brushed her hair up into a really frizzy nest. She wore shorts with leggings, which she totally picked out by herself. How wacky....

Before:

After:

Wacky Wednesday

Ahhh... Coming home from a 4.4 mile (yes, I am obsessed with exact mileage of my runs) to a quiet house of sleeping family is a wonderful thing. On my early morning jog, I encountered one raccoon and two skunks, one who didn't look as friendly as his cartoon counterpart Pepe LaPew.

I think it's really funny that I didn't encounter anybody else except for the last five minutes or so, when I passed two dog walkers and Ron, my next door neighbor. This is not the first time Ron and I, who live within 50 yards of one another, are the only two people using the trail at 6:30 a.m.

I hear the stirrings of my children. It won't be long now until chaos replaces this quiet. Carolyn has Wacky Wednesday at school today. I'll make sure to post pictures later. We've got quite a surprise planned for her long, luxurious hair.

Hell-oooo Lent!

I had all these really great stories about the girls. About how Carolyn was super smart and Penny was a huge pain in the ass. At least I think those were the stories.

I don't really remember any of them right now. Why, you might ask. Well. I've been Facebooking. Ugh... It's like a sickness. The constant need for attention. The constant checking. The constant reporting of every thought that pops into my head.

Well... I've had enough. I'm out, at least for the next 46 days. That's how long Lent lasts and how long I will be banning the Facebook. If there's one thing I know a little something about, it's giving stuff up. I'm an expert at it and should probably be on Oprah. And every time I've given anything up, I've quickly realized I didn't need it that much anyway.

That's not to say I don't need help. Steve is going in to change my password. Right. Pathetic was the word that came to MY mind too.

I'm also giving up beer and wine. I'm not giving up hard alcohol, because it's not so much that I want to give up drinking, but I wanted to give up distractions. And after a long winter stuck inside, I'm well aware that a bottle of wine is a lovely distraction. Like Facebook and all my very bestest Facebook friends.

So hello Lent. I'm ready for you. And maybe in a day or two, I'll remember the names and some stories of those two kids I live with.

Girlisms

When Carolyn woke up this morning, she started cuddling with me. Then she made a funny face.
"You smell funny," she said.
I do?
"You didn't take a shower today," she said.
I know... It's only 6:30 in the morning.
"You smell like an old lady!"
Hey, that's below the belt missy.

Yesterday I took Penny shopping to Target instead of taking a nap. Penny LOVES to shop. Shirts? Awesome. Sponges? Awesome. She ran up and down the 75 percent off Valentines Day aisle squealing with delight.
When we were looking at some workout videos, after just having left the baby area (Look at these cute pajammies) when Penny said.
"When we get a new baby, we'll be able to buy those clothes."
Umm. Yeah. About that. There aren't going to be any new babies.
"Doesn't Daddy like babies?"

So it's 6:47 a.m. and the girls are already running around in their Heart Day holiday garb I nabbed for $1.25 a piece. I highly recommend this aisle for anybody with girls.

Post birthday expectations

Carolyn is 5. She's 5. She's 5 years old. She's no longer 4, because now she's 5.

This was something she eagerly told anybody who would listen yesterday. The moms dropping off kids at preschool. The kids in swim class. The people at the bank. Carolyn is 5.

Carolyn was a little disappointed she couldn't magically tie her shoes yesterday morning. After all. She is 5 now.

I'm glad it's over. It was a lot of fun. We started the day opening presents. We ended with cake (which Steve iced with his very own 8,000 calorie icing!). But the birthday season is now behind us and won't begin again until early September when my birthday starts the whole cycle again.

That means Carolyn's birthday is the unofficial (and quite early) start of spring and summer. No more cakes. No more presents. No more waiting, except for summer, which is pretty funny considering Carolyn, just at this moment, came out of her room dressed in shorts.

I guess I'm not the only one excited about the end of birthday season.

Birthday girl! Almost 5

So it's a day early. We're busy tomorrow, what with all our present-opening, cake-eating, treat-spreading activities. I just hope she doesn't change too much through the night.

Date night

Steve and I are not much for holidays. Neither of us knows our anniversary (although we know it's either May 12 or May 18). I have made known my slight dislike of Christmas. Steve and I once went out to eat after trying to retile our bathroom and wondered why there were so many couples out to eat only to later realize it was Valentine's Day.

So it's sort of weird we went out on Valentine's Day weekend, if not the actual day.

But what's really funny is how we enjoyed our romantic night out. We ate our meal in about 15 minutes, because that's the only way we know how to eat. Eating very, very fast is the only way to eat with two small kids.

Ah... Who am I kidding. I've always been a fast eater. So really, this is sort of a non-blog because I want to try and blog more. Move along. Nothing to read here.

Slightly spring

So, yeah, it's February. So what. Totally feels springish outside and I'm not going to fight that.

Spring, to me, is the very best of seasons. It's the season of hope and expectation. It's for love and dreaming. Spring, as Garrison Keillor has said in one of his Prairie Home Companion rants, is the season that turns us into teenagers.

And who wants that! Certainly not anybody who feels like using her brain.

Good thing spring isn't for using the brain. It's for thinking about being fast and fit . It's for looking forward to mornings outside instead of inside this ever-shrinking house. I love that feeling in my gut that something — something huge — is about to happen, even if it's not. (This is in no way a hint to pregnancy. That is a type of expecting behind me now.)

This is the only time of year I wish would drag its feet. I'm not in a hurry for June. Let April linger just a little longer.

So here's to spring, even in mid-February. After a winter like this, it's a welcome feeling.

Water park fun

We just came back from a lovely weekend. We went to Chicago for one night and to a Wisconsin waterpark for the other. It was great fun. We went shopping, ate at great restaurants, went to the zoo and (obviously) had lots of waterpark fun.

Here's Carolyn and I coming down the giant waterslide. It's not nearly as terrifying to watch as last year's video, but it was still fun.

What sister turtles look like

Bowling and life

We took the girls bowling for the first time on Saturday. It was pretty fun, but much more expensive than I remember. They didn't quite "get" the whole thing, but they loved it.




On a completely unrelated note, unless you think life and bowling are related, we were driving past the church when I pointed out there was somebody in the Adoration Chapel, at this very moment, praying. I like to do this because Steve thinks it's rather unbelievable, especially that people pray at like 3 in the morning. Anyway...

Carolyn said, "You mean praying to God?"
Steve and I agree that's correct.
Then Penny chimes in: "My favorite colors are blue and pink."
Yes, we agree. Also a relevant point.